Look My Way

Look My Way Prologue

Maybe I was naive, got lost In you eyes, and never really had a chance.

-White Horse, Taylor Swift

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Prologue

I sniffed my book conspicuously one last time before continuing reading the first chapter of my new book. The cover hadn't even begun to bend and the new-book smell still laid between the pages of it. Ah, how I loved the first thirty minutes of reading class, where the whole class was ordered to read! Apparently, I was the only one. The teacher, Mr. Drammond was already slapping students in the head to wake them but not before taking a picture of them to put on the school's teacher blog.

I chuckled quietly to myself and turned my attention back to my book once again, only to be interrupted by the sound of the door next to me opening. Twenty-four heads snapped in the direction of our visitor, but I kept my eyes on my page. I was determined to finish this chapter before the thirty minutes were up.

"This is from Mrs. Reford. She wants the copies for next week test," a voice whispered to the Mr. Drammond. In an instance I heard twenty-four heads snap back down losing disinterest in our visitor as soon as he said test, but not me. I knew that voice better than my own.

Sure enough he was standing in front of the teacher desk, waiting for Mr. D to write something on a sticky note, when I looked up. Automatically, a longing ache filled me, and my book was the least of my concerns.

He was beautiful. The perfect picture of perfection. His eyes were a dark brown and when I looked at them it was as if I was swimming in them. His smile was the kindness, sweetest smile I had ever known. I loved it when he smiled at me because I felt important. Every feature was perfect his dimples, his brown hair, his laugh, his everything was just perfect. It was the guy who had stolen my heart without knowing. Josh...

My heart went from zero to two thousand and fourth seven breaking the speed limit. Its like my whole chest caves in. That's how much it hurt and pleased me to see him.

I stared at him subtly- at least I thought it was subtle-as he started to tap his foot impatiently, until Mr. D finished writing on the skicky note and handed him a large stack of papers. Josh lifted the three feet stack of papers without trouble, and walked towards my desk. He caught my eye and smiled mischievously. I smiled back shyly without hesitation. He mouthed the word 'hello' not wanting to attract the attention of the entire classroom. I lifted my book to shield my face in case of Mr. D's wandering eye, and mouthed hi back. He shoved me playfully and I stuck my tongue out at him like the immature person I am, and Josh shook his head amused at our exchange. The paper from the top of the stack fell at the sudden movement of his body, and I was there in an instance to pick it up, but it was too late Mr. D had already picked it up.

I hurried to cover my disappointment. Normally that would of been the part in the movie where the geeky girl picked the paper up, gave it to the jock and their hands would touch. Then the jock would feel compelled to look deeper than the glasses and realize she was beautiful, and he would search deep inside of him to search how he had been so blind, and later they would start going out and be a wonderfully cute couple: Them vs. The World, but I knew things like that were made up by jerk screen-writers and heartless movie directors, whose only purpose in life was to fool hormonal teenagers like me into believing fairy tales were real. But whatever they were selling I wasn't buying it, at least not without saving the receipt.

Josh chuckled silently as I scurried back to my seat before Mr. Drummond said anything. I narrowed my eyes at him and Josh stuck his tongue out at me, and I couldn't help but smile.

Then, he opened the door, and my heart broke in two because he has to leave to go back to class. For the millionth time, I silently curse the HP computers in the front office for being able to download that scheduling program that separated us.

I tried to concentrate on my book when he closed the door, only to hear the a soft thump and one muffled giggle. Automatically, I turned my head to the door, and from where I was sitting I could see through the doors window perfectly. I only wish I hadn't been able too.

It was Josh. Except I couldn't exactly see all of him. He had his back facing the window. The papers he had been caring only a while ago were now scattered on the floor. His hands were busy.

They were on the waist of the girl he had against the wall. They were kissing, and I knew who it was: Maria. His girlfriend.

My heart fell all the way down to the Earth's inner core, and bitter tears ran through my face. It was hard but I managed to tear my eyes from the image that was breaking me, and I cried silently into my book.

"Times up!" Mr. D yelled as the timer went off. He walked to the front of the class to start today's lesson, but I wasn't in the mood to review Analogies and Poem Structures. I raised my hand.

"Yes, Miss Cassandra?"

"May I go to the restroom?"

He looked unsure of letting me go during the beginning of the lesson, but he knew I was one of his top students. He was fighting a battle on the inside.

"I think I'm going to hurl," I added. That seemed to make up his mind. He looked like the thought of a student hurling in his room was horrifying.

"In that case maybe I should write you a nurse's pass," he said quickly. I nodded hurriedly, impatient to leave the classroom that now seemed so crowded. He nearly threw me the nurse's pass, eager to have me out of his class, but I didn't mind. I ran out of the classroom before then waterworks started again.

Josh and his girlfriend didn't notice me when I scurried past them, and ran towards the restroom across the hall. Then with my luck, I slipped on one of the papers Josh had dropped, and fell flat on my face, making a loud thump sound, and I was fully aware that my butt was sticking up in the air.

"Ow," I groaned. I was in too much pain to move but the pain in my heart was stronger. Despite the throbbing pain on my face and arms, I tried to get up, only for my arms to wobble and fall again. Suddenly, I felt strong hands pulling me up and for a second I thought it was Mr. Drummond, but when I turned it was the last person I wanted to see.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked, smiling like always, but for the first time his smile didn't make me smile back. Instead tears began to gather and I knew I had to go before I made a bigger fool of myself, so I ran away from him. I could feel his eyes on my back as I ran, but I didn't look back.

A few minutes later, I was finally in the restroom stall, crying my eyes out. There was a pile of toilet papers soaked with my tears on the floor. I knew there was no reason I should be crying. Josh wasn't mine. He hadn't cheated on me, but that was exactly why. He wasn't mine but still I felt cheated. Funny how the only one who could make you stop crying was the one who made you cry...