Fireproof - Kenric and Oralie

Hindsight

Oralie's POV:

Everything felt hot.

Her mind, her heart, her entire body. 

She didn't even have a second to think before the flames erupted.

Next thing she knew, she was being pushed backwards, away from the flames. In that moment, she couldn't think about him.

Even when she should've. 

She saw Sophie being pushed backwards to where she was, and she grabbed her hand and sped out of there.

They still had time.

She should've grabbed him. She could've. She should've grabbed him tight and held on.

She shouldn't have left him there.

Left him there to burn.

To die. 

But she didn't think about that. She didn't even think about him.

Her life.

Her love.

Her reason.

She felt so much panic and urgency to get out of the glittery, melting castle before it came down on them. 

But she felt something else too- and it didn't leave her until she was outside. That feeling, that feeling when you think you're missing something.

In a way, she was. 

Sophie.

Alden.

Tiergan.

Fitz.

Terik

no Fintan.

and no Kenric.

The hindsight was killing her. Her brain flooded with I should've done this, or I should've  done that. 

Then there was the emotions. The emotions around everybody, were so powerful and- and-

Kenric would've comforted her and made it all go away.

The panic, the fear, the realization, the grief, the guilt, the sadness. Those painful emotions radiating from everyone.

Kenric would've put a hand on her shoulder and calmed her down. 

But he wasn't there to do that. 

Because he was gone. 

The more she thought about it, the more it became real.

Don't think about it Oralie, everything will be okay, everything IS okay.

But it wasn't. It wasn't okay, and it never will.

Because he wasn't there. 

With every second that passed, with every look of pity and grief, with every sob-

It didn't change anything. 

Even when she wished it could. 

She wished this never happened.

That she took his hand when he offered it, instead of pushing her feelings down.

Instead of making Kenric pretend that everything between them was professional.

Turning down the only chance at a future togehter, where they could actually be happy.

The sound of Sophie's transmission filled her head. It will be worth it. When we finally win against the Neverseen, Kenric's sacrifice will be worth it. Everything will be alright.

The words, sacrifice. It circled around her head, and she tried to find a way to stop thinking about it, but she couldn't.

She let the tears roll down. She didn't care anymore. There was no reason to, because her reason was gone. 

Gone.

When she went to bed that night, she couldn't sleep. She kept looking out the window of where Kenric's house was. 

The same old things about his home. The glittering chandiler, the plain chairs and table she would always complain about. 

The charm bracelet she made for him.

She looked down at her wrist where the charm bracelet Kenric made for her sat. 

One of the only memories that remained of him.

She looked again at the familiar scenery outside his house, remembering the times the lights would illuminate the shrubs and flowers outside.

The only thing was, there was no light. 

The 5 stages of grief.

Denial

Anger

Bargianing

Depression

Acceptance

She wasn't really feeling any of those. Just heartbroken.