Kenric's POV
Kenric sat up slowly, blinking his eyes to clear his vision.
He thought he would feel a horde of emotions, but he felt nothing.
He didn't know where he was, and he was restless.
"Kenric?" A voice said, somewhere around him. The scene shifted into focus and he found himself in the living room of his castle, surrounded by Oralie and Oralie only.
"What happened?" Kenric mumbled, confused.
"Elwin brought you back here to rest. We weren't sure if you were going to wake up." Oralie admitted softly.
"Well- I did, and I'm perfectly fine." Kenric snapped, surprising himself with him tone.
Oralie raised an eyebrow in concern, which made Kenric feel another flare of anger.
She cringed and backed away, then Kenric was hit with immense guilt.
"Ora- I didn't mean to-" He started, but Oralie cut her off.
"No- it's fine." She said, and Kenric could tell she meant it. She was more concerned about him than herself.' "Are you mad at me?" She whispered.
"NO- I" Kenric shouted a bit too loudly, even Oralie was shocked.
He let his shoulders slump into the couch he was sitting on.
"I'm just tired and-"
"You should rest." Oralie said, cutting him off.
Kenric felt a surge of anger and bitterness. Why was he feeling this way? Oralie's face asked the same question.
"I'm sorry Ora. I just wish we would stop getting interrupted. First I died and then came back then my mind broke then we found these shattered memories, and now I feel like theres never enough time for us." Kenric felt a wave a relief wash over him as he let that out of his chest.
Oralie sat down, knowing more was to come.
"You know, all I wanted to do was serve my time as Councillor, then retire with you. But now I can't because the Neverseen ruined everything." Kenric's tone was annoyed and had a slight growl to it.
"And I hate, hate, hate this. The only reason I'm trooping through it is because of you."
Kenric looked at Oralie's face, which was unreadable.
"I-I feel like I'm losing control of my own life." He choked out quietly.
"And- I don't know what to do anymore." He whispered blinking back tears that weren't coming.
He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and yell at the world, but he couldn't.
No matter how sad he was, how angry he was, he couldn't will himself to cry or throw something.
It was like his body had just- given up.
He wanted to give up.
But he wouldn't. Because if he did he would lose Oralie, the only thing that mattered to him anymore.
Then a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder.
"Remember when you talked to me about resigning?" Oralie said softly. "When this is over. We have that. We never have to deal with the Council's problems and the Black Swan and the Neverseen."
Kenric looked up at her with an expression that said, I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore
Then she brought her lips to his.
Kenric was caught off guard, and for a few seconds, he leaned into the kiss and enjoyed it. He put his hand on her neck, but then stopped and distanced himself from Oralie.
The look of hurt on her eyes was unmistakeable.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." Kenric said with a quiver of fear in his voice.
"I-its just that I don't want to have these memories that keep reminding me that if I fail I will never have this." He said, locking eyes with Oralie.
"I love you, I truly do. And I know you do to. When this is over, we will be together, or..." He trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentance.
"We're not." Oralie whispered, sounding hesitant.
Kenric grabbed her hand and stood up. "So you understand, right?" He said slowly, cautiously.
Oralie nodded with a determined look on her face. "Don't worry. We will end up together."
Kenric knew those words were meant to be reassuring, but a small twinge in his gut told him otherwise.
Then he dropped her hand.
Oralie left the castle that didn't seem to be so glittering anymore.
What did he just do? Even Kenric himself didn't know.
He prevented himself and Oralie from feeling the inevitable pain that would come in the future.
He was telling himself he was doing it for Oralie, but was he really doing it for himself?
He knew that if Oralie died, he would never forgive himself.
It all seemed so cliché- how the poor guy is tortured and only wants love, just to find out what he needs to sacrifice in order to get that.
Was it worth it? Is it worth it?
Those words echoed in his head every passing day, his jokes and laughter no longer there.
Even the rest of the Council noticed, but no one said anything. They all knew it must be an after affect of the trauma he faced.
It would all go away soon.
Kenric will be the happy go lucky guy he always is
He will go back to normal
Those sentances made him want to break all the glass windows in his castle. NO- it would never go back to normal.
He would have to live with this trauma.
This guilt that was eating him away yet not breaking him.
The vision of being with the love of his life go further and further away from him.
He felt so many swirls of emotion each day, so much that it became numb.
He was right when he talked to Oralie that day.
He was losing control of his own life.
A/n: sorry guys for the super late post, ive been super busy with my sport and summer school bc i want to be ahead when I go to the next grade. also ive been traveling and stuff so i haven been able to devote time to write here. anyways i told some of u guys this chapter would be longer, but i felt like if it was longer it would be super repetitive. also the story im writing for this kinda strayed off the original path and it might not have a happy ending... idk guys but anyways hoped u like it.
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