I had just kissed a boy and it hadn't disgusted me, it hadn't made me nauseous like it should have been. I had just kissed a boy and I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, his sweet taste, which was a mix of sweetened lemon tea and mint toothpaste...
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His room was huge and as beautiful as it was I kept thinking it was too big for him or anyone else. A large double bed stretched was placed almost across the center of the room, with the headboard resting against the wall and one thing that struck me was the amount of pillows that were on the bed. A single person who had six pillows made me think about the fact that their utility was actually different. I got the answer when he moved in his sleep, turning towards one of the pillows which he then hugged. He looked like a kid: his light brown hair, almost blonde, was all messed up, his beautiful blue eyes were closed and I could see his eyelids trembling involuntarily every now and then. My eyes, in the dim light of the room, saw him in a completely different way than usual.
He had told me several times that I could sleep in the bed next to him because it was big enough for both of us, and yet, even though he was right, here I was, sitting on the small black armchair staring at him from afar while sipping a hot tea.
I was afraid that something might happen if, for some reason, I decided to get under the duvet next to him. He looked so fragile... I was afraid of doing something that would leave more cracks or worse break.
I had finished my tea, it was five in the morning and my mum had just replied to my text where I told her that I would be sleeping outside after taking Shaun home. Everything was still completely dark outside and I would never notice the difference between one in the morning and five.
I was completely lost in my thoughts when suddenly I heard his voice muttering something incomprehensible. He tossed and turned in his sleep, whining and almost... crying?
"Andy?" I approached him, slowly, step by step, fearing his reaction.
"Please don't do this." He was not only talking, but he was also crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks, soaking the pillowcase and sheet. "Please." He was having a nightmare, a pretty serious one given what I saw. I could almost hear the strong beat of his heart in the dead silence of that house.
"Andy, it's just a nightmare." I touched his arm, hoping not to scare him further, but it didn't work. "Andy, you're dreaming." He opened his eyes wide, looking at me with terror and heavy breathing. He was very scared.
"Was I just dreaming?" He asked with a sleepy voice and his eyes half open, snuggling further under the duvet and hugging the pillow tightly to him.
"Just a bad nightmare." I replied.
"What time is it?"
"It's five."
"Come to sleep, no school tomorrow... we can sleep until after lunch."
"I-"
"Please come here, sleep with me" he said, still slightly under the effect of the nightmare "the bed is big enough for both of us." Now he seemed to be begging me and I found myself completely unable to say no to him. He was like an object made of small pieces that had been shattered on the ground.
