I had just kissed a boy and it hadn't disgusted me, it hadn't made me nauseous like it should have been. I had just kissed a boy and I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, his sweet taste, which was a mix of sweetened lemon tea and mint toothpaste...
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It had been two hours since I last had seen the doctor who was in charge of checking me up and I had spent the whole time thinking. I thought about the dream that had turned out to be the someone or something that was telling something was about to happen. Me asking Chris all the time to put on a condom maybe was because there was a valid reason behind it. He knew and yet he came inside me enough times to end up getting me pregnant. The point was that there was no point in thinking about these things now, because it had just happened. I didn't have time to linger on these things. I had to immediately find a job and above all a place to stay because there was no way for me to stay in that house. The first thing to do was collect all my things and especially my money to which I had no access whatsoever. Everyone thought I was rich, but they were wrong because my dad and my brother used all the money, it was always the two of them. I lived in a luxurious house, without a penny in my pocket. The plan was to steal money that was mine, so you couldn't even use the word "steal".
"How are we doing?" Suddenly a female voice woke me up from my thoughts and luckily she did because otherwise I could have gone towards thoughts I needed to stay away from.
"I'm fine, thank you."
"Okay," she said smiling "I'm gonna check you though." I nodded, letting her do her job. Dr. Pierce was a good person and you could see it in her sweet smile and chubby cheeks that would occasionally turn red when you gave her a compliment. She always wore a pink coat and had a different colored pen every day. She explained to me that she had seven pens of seven different colors: green, purple, orange, blue, yellow, brown and red. So every day she had a different colored pen and when she finished the round she started it again, so every day had its own color.
"How's the little one?" I found it incredible how quickly I had gotten used to calling it "little one" but I knew, on the other hand, that everything else would take me time.
"You are more and more towards the eighth week and therefore the end of the second month." She explained as I listened carefully to her words, almost studying them in my mind without forgetting even a comma, while my eyes were fixed on the small dot on the screen. "The heartbeat is strong and that's all we need to know that. Measurements are perfectly normal, such a healthy embryo. But now we have to talk about you." My blood froze in my veins when she turned towards me, looking at me with a look that was enough for me to understand the conversation we were going to have.
"I don't want to talk about it." I put my hands forward, breaking my fall even before I fell.
"Andy, your body is full of bruises and scratches..." Her words remained suspended in a mixture of sadness and something I couldn't quite define. It felt like her first time.
"I'm fine." I said defensively, not allowing her to go beyond what she already could see with her own eyes. Once I got to the hospital there was no way for me to hide everything, so I just let it go, letting time do what it had to, but always in the hope that everyone had remained silent. In my life I was surrounded by two types of people: who acted and who knew and stayed silent.
