I had just kissed a boy and it hadn't disgusted me, it hadn't made me nauseous like it should have been. I had just kissed a boy and I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, his sweet taste, which was a mix of sweetened lemon tea and mint toothpaste...
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I had been awake for forty minutes, my head was throbbing and I felt like shit. I'd spent the whole time thinking and thinking, still finding no way to fall asleep. Ginny was sound asleep in my arms, curled up next to me with the blanket covering her up to her neck. All I wanted to do today was to lie in my bed with her by my side as if we were kids again and do nothing. No phone or computer, maybe a book, but nothing more.
When the alarm went off I immediately turned it off, not wanting Ginny to wake up when she could stay home and sleep all day since three out of four teachers weren't going to class for strike reasons. She was beautiful when she slept, she looked so much like me that after ten years I was still surprised. Her hair was the same color as mine, curly like Robbie's, her eyes were the same as Shaun and Sammie's, her demeanor was a mixture of the four of us.
"Ryan, why are you still in bed?" Asked my mom as she walked in my room, using a tone of voice that was too loud.
"I'm getting up." She nodded and she left, closing the door which reopened only after two minutes. I could tell by her expression that she was already angry even though it was only seven in the morning. Lately I felt like getting mad at me was a sort of hobby and there wasn't much I could do, I just had to pass all the levels and manage to survive. "I'm getting up." I repeated to her, hoping it was just that, but instead I was wrong and I should have known right away.
"It's the third night in a row you've let her sleep with you." My dad said almost accusingly, as if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. My mum left after he walked in my room, fully mad for what I had done.
"Lower your voice or you're gonna wake her up." I whispered.
"Her alarm is off in ten minutes anyway."
"Not today."
"What do you mean not today?"
"Her teacher joined the teacher's strike..." For a few seconds he didn't say anything while all I could think of was how I knew and he didn't.
"Your mom already thought of everything."
"As always." I risked saying these words, but he seemed to be thoughtful for a second and if he heard my words then he didn't understand them the way I meant.
"Get up, you have to go to school."
"I feel sick." I wasn't even lying, I used to feel like shit more often. All I wanted was locking myself up in my bedroom and staying there for entire weeks without seeing people nor talking to them. I wouldn't even feel the need to eat or shower.
"You look fine so you're going to school today." He didn't waste a second to show off his stern and authoritative tone. It was increasingly clear why my brother had decided to buy a house, have a family with the person he loved and get out of here.
Dad wasn't always like this, he went on and off, but lately he always seemed to be angry at the world or maybe just me. I honestly didn't know what to think because he wasn't that kind of person who opened up, not even with his children. I hoped that at least he would talk to his wife. Trying to have a serious and deep conversation with him on topics concerning your feelings meant accepting his jokes about it and it was really oppressive as a thing.
