𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝

𝐗𝐈𝐈

During the ninth week of pregnancy, the development of the fetus is now fully underway. The neck is emerging, while the genitals are not yet evident. The brain and spinal cord are growing very quickly, and in general all the basic organs are growing. Teeth are also starting to appear in the mouth.

This is also the period in which the baby begins to move, even if still imperceptibly, and to taste the first flavors, even if the sense of taste is still far from reaching full efficiency.

I read on a site that had been recommended to me by a doctor at the hospital.

I knew nothing about pregnancy and children, I had a vague idea of ​​some things that absolutely had to be done, but otherwise I knew nothing and it was scary. I was in it and I didn't know the rules. But among everything I was unsure about, there was one thing I knew for sure: my little one had no intention of hiding, not like I had done for the last few weeks.

My baby was the size of an apricot, yet it was already showing off more than I expected. It certainly wasn't the type to hide and for that alone I loved him so much.

I was starting to leave all the jeans aside, leaving them unused in the drawer, while all the sweatpants, t-shirts and sweatshirts were the most used items. There were some t-shirts that showed the belly, small and round, but clearly visible, while others hid everything perfectly.

Part of me wanted to continue hiding everything, but the other part just wanted to tell the world and be able to live with a little more lightness. For the sake of the baby, however, I had to hide and live as usual. If my dad and my brother had found out I would have died and my little one with me, if Chris had found out then I would have been forced to have an abortion. Even if it had happened accidentally, even if it had to be anything but a blessing, even if I wasn't ready, even if so many things, this little one was the only source of my happiness and my strength that life had given me and I neither could nor wanted to throw it away. I wanted to raise my baby day by day.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and I already knew who it was. I put on my t-shirt, quickly went down the stairs and when I opened the door I found myself in front of one of its many versions. This was, fortunately, one of my favorite versions of him because he was smiling, sweet and had all those things that I only saw every now and then.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" He came towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist, looking at me with an intense light in his eyes and finally connecting our lips in a kiss that I felt like I hadn't received in months and months.

"How are you?"

"Good." I lied, because I knew the reason I had him come here. "There's something I need to talk to you about." He looked me straight in the eyes for a few seconds, sending me one strange feeling that made me sick.

I had spent hours in front of the mirror talking and trying to figure out what to say to him and how to say it. I had been having panic attacks, I didn't even know I had so many tears to cry. I spoke at the figure reflected in the mirror, looking somewhere for the courage I didn't have and now that the time had come to talk to him I couldn't do it. I was stuck as if I were an object that had been turned off.