I had just kissed a boy and it hadn't disgusted me, it hadn't made me nauseous like it should have been. I had just kissed a boy and I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, his sweet taste, which was a mix of sweetened lemon tea and mint toothpaste...
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Dear Andy,
It's been two weeks since I last wrote you a letter and I am sorry. Many things have happened that have forced me to stay away from you and to leave pen and paper aside, but now here I am, still here writing to you. You may be wondering the reason behind these letters, their meaning... and all I can tell you is that one day you'll find out Andy. I don't know when you will read this letter, but I know when you will receive it. The first lesson on Friday is chemistry and maybe you will read it right before class starts. Chemistry is not a simple subject, not even for me who is quite good at scientific subjects; I hope you know you're smart, if you don't know how to do something it's because you haven't figured out how to do it yet.
Don't give up and good luck!
-L
8
This time the letter was not in the cabinet, but on my desk. By now I had lost hopes, because yes I had hopes. Every week, sometimes as many as four or five times, I would find a letter in my locker from someone who signed himself with the letter L.
I had no idea who was sending them. All I knew was that it was a boy and I also knew perfectly well that the words, which were written in black on white, made me feel good. This L was probably just making fun of me, but I liked what he wrote and the way he wrote it. Sometimes he even cared about me, using his time to make me something to eat and make sure to put it where he knew I could find it. No one had ever done such a thing and I couldn't find the words to express how much I appreciated all of this.
His letters made me feel good, they were a part of my days that had the power to bring a smile to my lips.
Whoever this L was, I could never thank him enough.
I sat in my seat until the chemistry teacher arrived. Suddenly I realized that the whole class was full, there were too many people. Although no one was looking at me, I felt everyone's eyes on me. They were judging me, they were making fun of me. I was a fag, a fat guy who hid fat under sweatshirts, I was a gnome because I definitely wasn't tall. Their voices kept echoing in my head.
When I put the phone in my pocket my hand touched something that shouldn't have been there because I hadn't put it there. I picked it up and looked at it as if it were an alien, despite having nothing different from the others.
"Fowler!" My name yelled in his stern voice making me jump in fear. My heart was pounding so hard, pumped with adrenaline, that anyone could have heard it.
"Yes?" I tried to push past the blockage that had formed in my throat, swallowing my saliva and swallowing my own fear.
"What are you doing?" Everyone turned to me, looking at me as if I had just committed a crime. For some reason, perhaps unknowingly, I lingered on him. It made me feel strangely... good? Surprisingly he had his gaze on me too. It was strange, it had something different from the others, but I wasn't sure what.
