I had just kissed a boy and it hadn't disgusted me, it hadn't made me nauseous like it should have been. I had just kissed a boy and I liked the feeling of his lips on mine, his sweet taste, which was a mix of sweetened lemon tea and mint toothpaste...
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"Thank you for everything, Rye. What you've done for me means a lot." I didn't know what to say, honestly. I could never truly thank him, and that was all I had to say.
"Thank you for letting me help you and for trusting me." I nodded, getting lost for the last time in the comforting color of his eyes. It was crazy the effect he had on me. I didn't understand it, couldn't put a name to it, but I knew it made me feel good, and that's what mattered.
I put on my jacket and grabbed the suitcase from the neatly made bed after his dad had yelled at me to leave. I was used to people yelling at me, to disdain, insults, and homophobia, but Rye wasn't. Now I felt more sorry for Rye than for myself. I didn't live with those mean people, but he did, and I just wanted to save him from that place that was his family. I counted on his brothers; the four of them had a wonderful relationship, and... and I envied it a bit because I couldn't have with my brother what I had with him. It was honestly crazy how much I missed my brother, the same person who used to hate me and beat the shit out of me.
"This is our present." They said, drawing my attention, and when they handed me the wrapped package, all I could do was smile and cry at the thought of once again spending Christmas alone. Spending the holidays alone had never been a problem for me, but this time, I had hope. This time, I really thought I could sit with other people at a large table full of food.
They hugged me tightly, and that's when I truly understood how much they cared about me. It was the affection they put into the hug that made me realize it. I wished I could stay like that a little longer.
"And this is mine." He said, handing over his present. It was wrapped in a beautiful Christmas wrapping paper, filled with reindeer, sleighs, Santa Clauses, snow, trees, and much more. He had wrapped it himself, and I could tell from the small imperfections that made it simply unique.
"Thank you, Rye." My arms wrapped around his waist because I was too short and couldn't reach around his back. I inhaled his sweet scent, hoping to somehow carry it with me, hoping it would linger on my clothes forever.
"It's small, but I hope you like it anyway."
"I'll love it." Our eyes merged for a few seconds; we got lost but immediately had to got back on the surface. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas."
"Rye?"
"Yes?"
"I'm happy to have you as a friend too." He nodded, crying silent tears that broke every inch of me.
When he closed the door, something broke inside me. All I wanted to do was cry, even though, more than anything, I wanted to go back to him and just be with him. But I couldn't go back to him because it wasn't even an option anymore, and I couldn't cry because I had to find a place to stay.
I had 250 euros with me that had to last for food and a place to stay; once they were gone, I wouldn't have any more, unless I found a way to earn something.
