Dindin's
HERE I AM basking in Jayjay's warmth. We were lying down the couch, our limbs entangled as if the only thing that could keep us alive is the warmth coming from each other. Napakasaya kong umuwi siya muli. Nandito na siya and it seems like everything is okay again. I promised myself that I will never lie to him again. I will never make him feel like an outcast anymore. No more secrets, no more fights at kung saanman kami dalhin ng mga susunod na panahon, hinding – hindi ako bibitaw kay Jayjay.
"Were you sleeping on time while I was away?" He asked me. Frankly, I don't know. I just sit here at the couch looking at the city lights, contemplating my life's decision while waiting for him. Nakakatulog naman ako, pero hindi ko alam kung tam aba sa oras. Kumakain naman ako, pero hindi ko alam kung sapat bai yon. "Baby, you need to take care of yourself even when I am not with you." He told me. Lalo ko lang hinigpitan ang yakap ko sa kanya.
"Why would I do that if you're here and you're already taking care of me?" I looked up at him. My lips were a bit pouted. He brushed my hair away from my eyes to kiss my forehead. Narinig ko rin ang pagbuntong – hininga niya.
I know that we're okay. Hindi pa namin napag-uusapan nang maayos ang mga nangyari nitong nakaraang araw pero ramdam ko namang maayos na kaming dalawa. Siguro mag – uusap kami sa mga susunod na araw pa, but as of now, walang ginawa si Jayjay kundi ang yakapin ako. He doesn't want to be far from me – ako rin naman. We kept telling each other I love yous. We don't promise anything but I guess we both know that we are going to do everything for this to work.
"You need to take care of yourself too. Paano kung wala ako?" My heartbeat faster after hearing him say that. Muli akong napatingala sa kanya.
"Sabi mo hindi ka aalis?"
"Things won't always be smooth between us." He tried to pacify my worry. "I cannot promise to stay all the time, but I promise that when this happens again, I will always be back. Hmm? So if I am not here, you need to take care of yourself." Ngumiti siya sa akin saka ako muling hinagkan sa noo. Humigpit naman ang yakap ko sa kanya.
"I didn't like it when you were gone."
"I don't like it too." Sabi niya sa akin. "So, let's make the most out of this, okay?" Sinabayan niya iyon ng muling pagngiti sa akin. I found myself nodding to him. Magaan na naman ang lahat sa paligid naming dalawa. Alam kong, alam ni Jayjay na napakaraming tanong sa isipan ko ngayon, like what happened while he was away. Anong sinasabi ni Noel na plano niya para sa aming dalawa? I want to know because I want to help in anyway that I could, but basking in his warmth right now is the only thing that I want to do.
"Can we go for a vacation again? Just the two of us?" I asked in a tiny voice.
"Mmm? I want too, but the golden party will be at the end of the week and we both need to be there. Ako bilang anak ng pinakamalaking stake holder ng school at ikaw bilang golden scholar." I have almost forgotten about that party. Wala kasi akong ibang iniisip nitong nakaraan kundi ang pagbabalik sa akin ni Jayjay. Kung babalik pa ba siya, kung magiging okay pa kaming dalawa, but now that he is here, the party is the least of my concern.
"Do I need to go?" I don't want to go. Baka nandon si Lauren at Nicole, baka kung anong sabihin nila sa akin. Hindi naman ako naapektuhan ng mga bagay – bagay but I get tired too. I want to just rest. I want to get out of this place. But getting out means leaving Jayjay behind and I will never leave him.
"Yes, Love. I bought a dress for you, don't worry, you'll be the most beautiful woman in that party." Napahagikgik ako sabay kurot sa tagiliran niya. Jayjay reacted. Napasigaw siya nang bahagya.
