°✮clean, austin butler°✮

°✮ 11°✮

It was the annual 56th Grammys and I was performing tonight. I was performing my song All Too Well on piano and I was a wreck. I wore a gold dress with silver embellishments for the performance and decided to wear a white gown for the actual ceremony and a red short dress for the afterparty. 

I was backstage, stressing out about my performance, breathing heavily as i paced around in a square. At that exact moment, sabrina ran in and hugged me. "Oh my god i feel like im gonna die, what if i mess this up sab?" BITCH U WON'T MESS UP PINKIE SWEAR", she yelled lifting up her pinkie. "Ok, hope you're right" 

"please give a warm welcome to...Stella Monroe", I walked out of the stage holding my glittering dress up so i didnt trip, smiling so much i felt like a child. 

I sat on the bench infront of the piano and took a deep breath as i began playing the chords to my most emotional song, at least to me,

"I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something about it felt like home somehow and I, left my scarf there at your sister's house, and you've still got it in your drawer even now ", i sang shakily, biting my lip as a reflex to not let my tears fall. But im pretty sure the world saw my glassy eyes and red face.

"Oh, your sweet disposition, and my wide-eyed gaze, we're singing in the car, getting lost upstate, autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, and I can picture it after all these days,

"And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay but I'm not fine at all, oh, oh, oh", i sang looking into the audience taking a deep breath and giving this chorus my all.

"Cause there we are again on that little town street, you almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me, wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well", i trembled, softly but harshly pushing down the black and white keys.

"Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red, you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed", i smiled thinking about it. "And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team, you told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me"

"And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do, and I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to", i sobbed.

"Cause there we are again in the middle of the night, we're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light, down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah", I shakily screamed out, remembering those moments of sweet nothings and roses on a sunday night.

"And maybe we got lost in translation, Maybe I asked for too much, But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up, Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well", I sang with anger, trying to recollect myself. "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest, I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here, cause I remember it all, all, all too well", i whispered. 

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it, i'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it, after plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone", i sang, lifting my fingers of the keys  and sighing into the audience.

"But you keep my old scarf from that very first week, cause it reminds you of innocence, and it smells like me, you can't get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well, yeah", I yelled, throwing my head back and forth, my brown hair flying around. 

"Cause there we are again when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known, it was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well, wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all, down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all, it was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well", i breathed out, finally relieved that it was over.