Previously, I had never cared to search for the truth
I would condemn the motives and manipulations of those around me
But when it came to myself, I covered my eyes and walked around blind
I didn't want to see my bad qualities
I didn't want to hear what I lacked
I didn't want to see what I should have cherished dearly
But instead threw it in the trash
It was obvious I lived a lie
Miraculously, I reached a point where I could recognize that lying to myself was my demise
I was a lying liar who lied and appeared to be nice and put together, on the outside
But inside there was a tremendous turmoil slamming against my heart walls
Crashing and thundering in my mind until I couldn't even see or think straight
My internal lies had twisted and warped every path I considered to take
Constantly, I exclaimed, "It's not my fault-It was a mistake!"
"It's because of-"
"Well, if you had helped me I could have-"
Excuses, lies, blame-shifting, lies
No excuse could cover my behavior at that point
I told myself that I didn't know what to do, or where I had gone wrong
Weasling my way out because I didn't want to unlock the door within my heart
And confront the tomes on the shelves labeled, "Lies you told yourself to sleep at night."
The hardest truths to face are the ones about yourself
You just have to remove that big square piece of wood blocking your vision
Then you can see clearly to take care of the small spots [a]
So, I mustered up some courage and told myself,
"You know what? It can't be worse than where I am now."
"Oh no, I might self-combust if I tell the truth."
Pft. As if I wasn't already one foot in the grave
Though truly, it felt so hard to force it past my lips at first
It was like I had a creature living inside of me trying to seal my lips shut
Grabbing all of my words and shoving them down
Then feeding me slimy snakes hoping I would vomit them out
My jaw was so tight, I feared shattering my molars
To blurt out lies, I was fighting with all my life
And when I would break down and cry, shame rising up
God was there to remind me, "If a man falls, does he not get back up?" [b]
If you choose to love the truth and hate lies
You will overcome and be victorious [c]
Because the truth sets you free
And who the Son sets free, is free indeed [d]
a. Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (NIV)
b. Jeremiah 8:4 "Say to them, 'This is what the Lord says: "'When people fall down, do they not get up? When someone turns away, do they not return?" (NIV)
c. 2 Thessalonians 2:10 and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. (NIV)
d. John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.(NLT)
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Hide Me In Your Holiness
PoesíaWe all have ups and downs in life. But who is at our side when we experience overwhelming joy and tremendous trials? People change and people leave. But Jesus, faithful until the end, is all we need. A collection of poems to encourage you today. :) ...
