Ramirah Shiloh Capri
As soon as I stepped through the door of Solana's house, I dashed straight to the bed, collapsing into a heap of nerves and tears. My mind raced with worry about my exam results. Despite four years of studying, I couldn't shake the feeling that I might've bombed it.
"Baby, what's wrong? How did it go?" Solana's voice broke through my spiral as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me tight against her chest.
"I don't know... I just got so nervous," I managed to choke out, burying my face in her shirt.
"Listen to me, mama. You've been studying forever. You passed that test, I know it," she reassured me, planting soft kisses on my forehead.
I barely registered her words, too lost in my own mind, replaying questions over and over like a broken record.
"What do you need from me, mama? Just tell me," she said, gently lifting my chin to meet her gaze.
"Just hold me," I whined, snuggling deeper into her embrace.
She rubbed my back in soothing circles as I cried, the weight of all my hard work crashing down on me. Failing this test was unthinkable. Sure, I could retake it, but I wanted this to be a one-and-done situation.
"Your phone's ringing," Solana said, breaking the silence and handing me my device.
Groaning, I saw it was my mom. I didn't want to talk about my worries, but I knew she wouldn't stop calling. With a resigned sigh, I answered the FaceTime call, fully aware that my eyes were probably puffy.
"Ramirah Shiloh, why the hell are you crying?" my mom's concerned voice echoed through the speaker.
"Because I don't know if I passed or failed my test," I said, trying to keep my tone steady.
"Aw, baby, I'm sure you passed. You're just overthinking it. And even if there's a tiny chance you didn't, you can retake it!" My mom's optimism spilled over, backed up by my dad and Solana, which made me roll my eyes.
"I don't want to retake it," I sighed, feeling the weight of disappointment settle in.
"You need to be more positive. You already passed! You're Ramirah Capri, BSN, RN. Speak it into existence instead of crying in Nova's arms. When I had to take my licensure exam after dental school, I wasn't crying; I was out celebrating my results that I hadn't even gotten yet," my mom said, making me realize she was right.
"You're right. I need to be more positive." I wiped my face, feeling a little lighter.
"There's my girl," my dad chimed in, making me chuckle.
"Let us know when they confirm the news we already know so I can tell Facebook! Love you, baby! And hey, Nova!" my mom said, making us all laugh.
"Hey!" Solana waved into the camera, her smile warm.
"Love y'all too! I'll let you know when I get the results," I promised, hanging up feeling slightly better.
"You feel better now?" Solana asked, pulling me onto her lap.
"A little," I replied, wrapping my arms around her neck.
"Baby?" I called, and she hummed in response.
"I'm hungry," I admitted as my stomach growled, adding to my discomfort.
"What do you want to eat, mama?" she asked, pulling out her phone, probably for DoorDash.
"Popeyes," I mumbled, slipping my hands under her shirt.
"Mama, your hands are freezing!" she exclaimed, pulling them away, but I whined and tucked them back in.
"Solana, leave me alone. Ima warm them up," I murmured against her neck.
Her body was the only source of comfort I craved right now.
♡
"I like this loft better than that high-rise we just saw," Solana said, and I nodded in agreement.
"And it's a two-bedroom, so we can use one for an office and the other for our room," I added, feeling excited about the possibilities.
We had been touring apartments all day, and so far, this one felt like home. With its loft-style layout, floor-to-ceiling windows, and cozy vibe, it was everything we wanted. Plus, it was cheaper than the high-rise with more space.
"I love the windows in the bedroom, too. The other apartments didn't have that. We can see the skyline from here," Solana pointed out, and I agreed wholeheartedly.
The vibe of this place made me imagine plants everywhere, and I could already picture the sunset streaming in. Every moment spent here made me fall deeper in love with it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I hesitated, fear gripping me as I realized I was supposed to get my scores today.
Taking a deep breath, I counted down in my head.
Okay... on the count of three.
3...
2...
1...
OMG.
RAMIRAH SHILOH CAPRI, BSN, RN
I PASSED!
"BABY, I PASSED!" I screamed, spinning around in excitement.
"I'm so proud of you, mama!" Solana responded, pulling me into a tight hug."Congratulations, baby! You deserve this and so much more," she continued, kissing me passionately as my excitement bubbled over.
All those late nights, tears, and countless hours of studying had led to this moment. I was officially a nurse—not an intern, not a student, but a real nurse.
Happy tears streamed down my cheeks, and I couldn't contain my joy.
The leasing agent returned, looking confused at the sight she returned to, but I just laughed. If only she knew my story, shed be crying too.I had gone from being extremely depressed my freshman year of college, barely able to get out of bed to even attend class to passing the NCLEX on my first try.
"Happy tears!" I managed to say through my tears, and she offered me a soft smile, nodding.
"My baby passed her licensure exam to become a nurse." Solana explained proudly, making me blush. Don't make me get on my knees, Ms. Carter. For either reason.
"That's amazing! Congratulations!" the leasing agent said, and I wiped my eyes smiling thanking her.
"We'd like to apply for this apartment," I stated confidently, taking Solana's hand as she kissed my forehead.
"I'll send over the paperwork to your emails. And again, congratulations, Mrs. Carter," the woman said, and my heart skipped a beat at the name.But before I could correct her, she was gone.
"Mrs. Carter has a nice ring to it," Solana teased, making me roll my eyes playfully.
"It'll have to be Mrs. Capri-Carter. And don't forget the BSN, RN, either," I replied teasingly, as we walked out of the building. Still on the best high of my life with my favorite person.
♡
After what felt like hours of sharing my news with everyone and packing, Solana and I finally settled on the couch, devouring pizza and watching Bad Boys—our comfort movie.
"I can already picture plants everywhere in our new apartment," she said out of nowhere, making me laugh.
"I'm so glad you know," I smirked, knowing I had a million ideas for decorating and that she would regret wanting to pay for everything because if she thought makeup was expensive, wait until she learns about plants.
"Maybe we should get a dog," she playfully suggested.
"You're such a lesbian, Solana," I laughed, and she shrugged pulling me closer.
She's my home. Where ever Solana is..is home for me.
