Butterfly Wings

SOS

Day 190

I have been counting each day from the day I go away it has been thirty days, an entire month in these woods, how have I not found any people I can trust, I walk as much as I can each day till I cannot move anymore, this last several days have been tough, I feel heavier, and hungrier, baby has been going crazy at night when I rest. I try to not sleep too much but still sleep when I can. I find the days much hotter as I try to always walk in the shade when moving through the day. I have been feeling the Braxton hicks more and more as well. I cannot get a break long enough to actually rest well before I start moving again. I am lost and currently just walking whichever direction I am able at this point. My stomach has grown yet the rest of me has shrunk, I feel like I am a walking bowling ball. I talk to myself and the baby all day at this point, talking about flowers, and trees, describing birds and singing songs that I can remember. I also have been suffering dearly from this bad pain in my hips and legs, sometimes even my back. It is sharp but eventually goes away on its own. Just sucks when it stops me in my movement's cold turkey. I sit on a broken tree long in the shade as I take breaths shutting my eyes and taking a breath in, I taste the forest on my tongue, and smell the flowers. I for the first time in two days take over three hours to rest and rebuild my energy. As I rest, I resume my etching as I have done this whole time, I make three lines in the tree. I started doing this not long after getting away, I flash back to when I had to explain the three marks to Marcus; I had been drawing three lines into my skin leaving blistering red marks spaced out evenly from my fingernails.

"Why do you do that?" Marcus asks once he sees the concentration leave my face blank as I stare at the ceiling.

"It stands for SOS, my dad once made me and my siblings promise that if we were ever in trouble no matter what kind, we would send him a text or some kind of message with three markings on it, I chose to do three lines, my oldest brother would send three Xs in a text. We all picked our own marking to use. I chose three dashes to make it easier. I figure if he ever found me, I would make a message with three dashes as to say I was always reaching for him." I state blinking my eyes now before turning my head to meet Marcus.

My dad has always been funny about safety especially with how the world is changing every day. He always made sure we knew what we would do. One thing I know is that I will always try to hold out hope that people can be good but knowing the things I have seen have changed me; the mindset has been a bit difficult lately especially in these woods. Just the other day as I was walking, I heard voices, I ducked behind a tree and when I peeked out, I seen two hikers, both females funny enough, yet my brain registered them as danger, not safe. So instead of racing out to ask for help I stayed in place as quiet as a mouse hiding. I never thought I would be this way yet there I was hiding from what could have been my saving grace. I find myself marking as many trees as I can as I go past them, the action more like muscle memory now then it was at the beginning.

Marcus POV

It has been too long, for all we know she could be dead, I have net with her family and me and her brother and dad have gone through these woods in every direction to find her. Yet we have not had any luck, I have camped out here with them to resume the search. Unfortunately, I feel they are losing hope, I am too if I am honest. I swore I would find her and bring her home, and now here I am with her family without her. I shared every detail I could with her parents, even the most horrifying and to be honest I can understand that horror that was written on their faces. Being safe and free now has me on edge anymore. I can only imagine what it might be like for Hayley especially if we found her alive after all this time. I pray we find her; God I need some kind of hope here. Today started out no differently than the rest as we hiked deep into the woods to look for the house or something familiar. We stay close to each other yet keep a distance as we walk to find clues. As I move, I look to the left to see a tree with three markings one on top of the other. Spaced out evenly and drawn very carefully yet clear as day. I know this is what I have been praying for.