just as Lily had thought...
"Your calorie intake is very erratic, this is not enough. Your body is working in deficit. You NEED to be having at least 1800 a day just for your body to function. Your brain uses around 700 calories a day just to work" she says but Lily just sits there and stares at the floor. If she looks up, she's scared she might start crying because this is really, really scary.
" you said something to Lucy about if you had an egg or something at breakfast you then wouldn't be able to have that same food again at lunch or dinner. Most people don't even think about that Lily, it doesn't matter"
"it does matter, ignore her she is just trying to make you put on weight that you don't need"
"Should I go and get a meal plan?" Asks Lucy
"Yes, we can have a look at one" replies the dietician
"shit shit shit why is she getting a meal plan, you cant follow one of those"
A few minutes later Lucy comes back. With the meal plan.
"So, I think if we start on 6 then go up to 7 after 3 days?" she says before showing Lily's mum the meal plan.
"DONT FOLLOW IT"
"Do you think you could make this fit what she would eat?" Lucy asks
"Yes, yeah that will be ok" Lily's mum says
"NO IT WONT BE OK, YOU CANT EAT THAT. YOUR LOSING CONTROL YOU NEED TO REFUSE IT"
"Do you want to see Lily?" Asks Lucy
She shakes her head, her heart is racing and she can't breathe properly again. This is too scary.
"Lily wanted me to ask you as well, would she be able to go for walks yet?" asked her mum
"Only a slow 15 minute walk if she has an extra 200 calorie snack, a fast walk she will need 400 calories" the dietician replies
"fuck that you are not having that many extra calories, you can just pretend to eat something and hide it"
"Okay" her mum says
"Are you ok Lily?" asks Lucy
Lily starts crying as her mum comes over to comfort her.
"Oh sweetheart, do you need a minute with just me?" asks Lucy kindly
Lily nods as her mum gives her a hug
"I'll be outside waiting for you, ok?" her mum says
Lily nods
"I know this is so scary for you" Says Lucy. "You must feel like all the control has been taken away from you, and us expecting you to stop the calorie counting too. I know how scary it is but it's what needs to happen because this is taking up way too much of your time, it's gone too far now Lily. We need to do something"
"you cant sop calorie counting, you NEED to know the numbers. If you don't then you might eat to much then you will look awful and evryone will hate you. You know you cant have moer than 1800 a day, you cant even have 1800 . YOU ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO RECOVER"
"Do you want a hug?"
She nods again, still crying uncontrollably.
"Keep fighting, ok?" Lucy says
"DON'T FIGHT, YOU DONT NEED TO FIGHT. YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME"
"I believe in you, you've got this" she says kindly
YOU ARE READING
The real monster is in your mind
Teen FictionThis is a story about a teenage girl called Lily and her fight with eating disorders, primarily anorexia. To begin with the book details the struggles during the depths of her eating disorder and through the story you get to experience Lily entering...
