It makes you have an identity crisis, you lose every single thing about yourself outside of the eating disorder but you don't realise that until you start recovery, figuring out who you are again and who you want to be is so so difficult and it permanently feels like you shouldn't be living in the body you are. That body doesn't feel right, it feels so so wrong. It hurts like hell but then when you restrict again that hurts to, it feels like your stuck and cant win and that theres no way out. Its one of the most overhwleming things and its really difficult to cope with, maybe you feel like yourself again round certain people, or you don't worry as much around them. Lily does, but when she is back at home around her family she loses herself again, she falls back down that pit and start listening to that voice again. she don't know how to be herself around them, she doesn't know who she is when she isnt around her friends or the people who lift her up. shes lost, deep down she has no idea what she wants ,she doesn't know who she is, she doesn't know who her people are and she doesn't know how to be happy.
Somehow when you've been living with bad habits for so long you've almost forgotten what it feels like to be okay. One day, you get through the day and you feel happy - and it feels strange, because you're not used to it. You don't feel like you should be happy, and it's scary because it feels like you're losing a part of yourself and that you arent valid anymore. It's strange not to have something constantly on your mind. But you can't live in the shadows, wrapped up in cotton wool forever. The food is the medicine in recovery - it's the only way out.
YOU ARE READING
The real monster is in your mind
Teen FictionThis is a story about a teenage girl called Lily and her fight with eating disorders, primarily anorexia. To begin with the book details the struggles during the depths of her eating disorder and through the story you get to experience Lily entering...
