Never True [ Landonorris]

22[she doesn't hate you]

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Lando pov

Sunday(Canada Grand Prix)

do you know when you have an emptiness in your stomach? as if there was a hole where the air passes? this is how I feel today

I'm full of anxiety, which isn't my usual thing, about the race, I'm afraid of making a mistake or disappointing someone, more of disappointing than making a mistake, I care a lot about the opinion of others

you know when I was young, but actually even now, I suffered from mental disorders, nothing serious, but I cared a lot about not disappointing people, about always being perfect, about always being the best,this led me to have problems, and let's say that social media hasn't improved the situation much.

I read comments like, "why don't you crash into the wall" "Lando nowins" "why don't you kill yourself" "you're useless" and so on

At first I didn't talk about these problems with anyone, but as time went by they got worse, a lot, so I talked to Carlos

he told me the exact words "don't care, we are pilots, public figures, people will always have things to say about us, that we never win or that we win too much, that we are not good or that we are too good, you don't have to care, be always yourself."

and over time I realized that he is right, people will always judge us.

But despite everything, every now and then these "problems" come back to me, but I know how to manage them, more or less, because I know that there are also people who love me and have taken me as an idol, and believe me being someone's idol is the most beautiful thing that can exist on the face of the earth.

It makes me happy every day to think that there, somewhere in the world, I am the idol of boys or girls, of young people or old people, and it makes me strong.

for example I love my team, they are never disappointed in me even if I finish a race badly, if I crash, if I don't qualify they are always proud of me, and I'm grateful for this.

so having said this, today I hope to do well in the race, and give value to yesterday's qualifying.

two hours later

"are you ready cabrón?" Carlos greets me
"more or less"

"oh come on I'm sure everything will be fine"
"if you say so"

"Hey baby" my girlfriend greets me
"hey" I say hello to
"How do you feel?" she says
"good, I hope I do my best" I tell her
"I'm sure it will be like this."

"I hope so" I give her a hug and then she leaves
"man, why are you so cold to her?" says Carlos
"but it's not true, what are you saying?"

well ok reality it's true, lately I've started to be much colder towards Luisa, but no because the problem is her, because the problem is me.
I always think about Rosa, about the races and I don't have a bit of time to spend with her

"well mate, it gives me the impression that you don't love her"
I don't answer, I look at him

"here you see, those who remain silent consent"
"Oh come on man, why would I be with someone if I don't love her? It wouldn't make sense."