Never True [ Landonorris]

20[Friends?]

Rosa pov

a month later (June)

last month went shit, I broke up with Oscar and we still have to clarify certain things, after they went out I slept with Lando he decided not to think about me anymore, not to talk to me anymore,nothing at all, as if I were a ghost or even worse as if I had been quickly fucked and then that was it, an object.

you know I thought that the problem was me, maybe my body, my scars, I always thought something was wrong and apparently I was right,maybe he treated me like a whore because maybe he thinks I am, maybe he thinks I only serve that purpose, he sees me as an object maybe.

I really still don't understand everything now about why he treated me so badly, I only know that I started to burn again, and this thing hurts even more, because I managed to stop myself, and now because of him I started again.

I started not eating as much again, and believe me I feel like shit, I feel weak and alone, even if I'm not alone, I feel useless.

and also to make things worse, as if they weren't already worse,the last two races last month went terribly, Emilia Romagna gran prix I lost the steering, Monaco gran prix I hit the wall, perfect I'd say.

next week there will be the Canada Grand Prix, I hope it goes better than the others, because I think there could be an uproar if it doesn't go the way I want.

now I'm Monaco in my apartment, alone, the last time I was here was with Oscar, now I'm alone

as I already said, Oscar and I still have to clarify certain things, but he is still angry with me, or at least I think, we haven't spoken to each other since last month.

I get a message from Oscar

I'm coming to your house to get the last things

okay, everything is ready

Perfect

1 hour and a half later

there's a knock on the door and I open it, Oscar comes in and takes his things and puts them outside the door, but before he leaves I grab him by the wrist and make him stop

"Rosa, leave me" he says
"Oscar, please can we clarify?" I tell him as I look him in the eyes
"Rosa, what do you want to clarify? We've already told each other everything" he says

"no you've already said everything" I say
"ok let's see what you have to tell me?" he says
"Go into the house first, I don't want the neighbors to hear everything" I say making a sign to let him in, he comes in and I close the door

"tell me, enlighten me" he says
"one, I didn't sleep with Lando when I was with you, two I didn't use you, in fact I really loved you, but I no longer felt the same things as before" I say

he doesn't answer but looks at me

"Dear God, say something, I'm gone, I can't stand it anymore, you don't talk to me, my career is going like shit, Lando treats me like a fucking whore and I'm burning up again!I can't take it anymore, my head is exploding, and you're not helping like this!" I say, breaking down

"What do you want me to tell you?" he says while looking at me
"whatever, damn it! I treated you badly, I know, and I'm sorry, but I really loved you, I never thought of using you! but you don't understand it!"  I fall to the floor and start crying

"Have you started burning again?he says as he sits on the ground next to me
"yes, fuck, and it hurts even more because I managed to stop and now I've started again" I say

he comes closer and puts my head on his shoulder and strokes my hair

I don't know how he still loves me after how I behaved with him.

"for what reason?"he asks
"Long story, really," I say

"do you want to tell me?" he says while stroking my hair
"it's about Lando, I can only tell you this, I know you would go and kill him so I won't tell you,not even Chalres knows" I say

"I swear I won't get angry and I won't kill him, maybe" he says
"Oscar swear it to me"
"I swear" he says

"after we broke up, I asked Charles to come to me, I felt terrible" I say and he looks at me almost sorry

"so he came, after a while Lando knocked on the door because he wanted to talk to me, I told him he had to go, but he continued so I let him in" he looks at me, probably already having understood what had happened then

"while we were arguing he kissed me and you already understood.."I say swallowing for fear of his reaction

"and then he treated me like a whore and disappeared." I say
"what an asshole!" he says

"so you started burning yourself again, because you think he treated you like that because of your body" he says, he knows me well.

"mhmh" tears fall from my eyes
"Hey it's okay, I'm not angry" he says while stroking my hair

"really?" I say
"yes, the important thing is that you get back on your feet now"
I don't deserve an ex-boyfriend like that, despite everything he continues to be sweet to me

"friends?" I say
"friends" he says smiling and hugging me

"but now I have to go in 30 minutes I have a plane, please don't do any more bullshit" he says as he gets up and then gives me a hand to get up

"I promise, now you have to go home" I hug him, he takes his things and then leaves

I feel much better now, having clarified with Oscar has lifted a burden from me.