XVII

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Long chapter!


Aankhon mein aankhen teri

Baahon mein baahein teri

Mera na mujh mein kuch raha hua kya

Baaton mein baatein teri

Raatein saugatein teri

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Aradhana's POV

"Do you have loose powder or something that can fix this?" I asked the girl, probably in her early 20s, who was applying lip gloss to her already glossy lips. She glanced at me through the mirror, nodded, and handed me her clutch. I thanked her and took it from her.

I opened her clutch and retrieved the loose powder. I applied it under my eyes to cover the marks of dried tears. She also had a compact, so I used it as well. Now, I looked fine, as if nobody would notice that I had just had a panic attack.

And that too, right in front of him.

Let's not dwell on it because it was perilous. It made me difficult to breath, and I felt dizzy, as if I were close to death. But then he arrived;

I don't know how he knew or what he saw, but he saved me; from the embarrassment of fainting in front of everyone like so many people and pleading for it to stop.

The memories from my childhood need to be halted. I somewhat realize it now, they wasn't their words that triggered me, but rather the situation.

The events unfolding around me-the date with him, the rituals, the marriage-I never had the chance to process it all, and it overwhelmed me.

Argh!

How will I face him now? I was crying, my face buried in his chest, like a manic.

Why him, of all people in the world?

"Are you alright?" Her voice pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to see the girl eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded and attempted a smile, feeling my throat parched. I needed water.

"You don't look fine. What's wrong?" she asked again. I sighed, placing items back into her clutch, but my gaze fell on the packet of cigarettes within. My hands itched for one.

It's been quite a while, indeed.

"No, Aradhana, you're the bride; you need to talk to everyone out there-it's your party," I scolded myself and began to close her clutch.

And you don't want your in-laws to know that their daughter in law is fucking addicted to smoking. Right?

I mean, I'm not addicted to it now, but there was a time when I used to smoke around 10-12 cigarettes a day. Now, it's under control, I sigh.

It's bad, it's wrong.

Par sahi karke bhi mene ky ukhad liya?

"If you want, you can have it," she said again, guessing my situation, but I just smiled and handed her the clutch.

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