It Ain't Easy

삼

QUICK CODE

Apostrophe - main spoken language is Korean.

Single Dashes - English

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After the girls left with no studying done and full bellies, Tae filled Posh in on my story after Tae got out what was eating Posh. Posh, a Korean-Thai mix, leaned back against the couch and grunted.

His deep voice sounded soft as he spoke. 'A whole ass baby? Damn, man. Your day was hell compared to a breakup.'

I laughed him off and got up to go to our shared room. I grabbed my pillow and blanket off the bed, lugging it back to the living room.

'Break ups suck,' I commented. 'No matter if they are bands, friends, or relationships. Resolve to be single forever!'

'Not anymore.' Posh pointed at the baby with his beer can. 'You will never be alone now. I commend you, bro.'

I snorted shaking head and tossing my pillow to the couch. 'I haven't done anything admirable yet.'

'What are you doing, Look-us?' Tae eyed me with his glassy glaze. That boy could never hold his drink. Three somaeks in and he was buzzed off his ass.

I chuckled and put the baby in a nest of sorts that I made with the rolled up blanket surrounding him.

'I'm being a considerate roommate, giving Posh the room. It wouldn't be fair for him to wake up with the baby, too.' I looked down at the little sleeping football. His face was less squishy when it was relaxed in sleep. Those puffy jowls made me was to blow raspberries on them, but I wouldn't dare touch the sleeping bear with a ten foot pole right now.

'Ahh-shheeeee!' He exclaimed. Both Posh and I reached across the table to cover Tae's loud mouth. His shiny red eyes looked wild and confused. I peeped over my back. The nameless boy moved his tiny arms slightly in the loose swaddle. Evilly, I looked at Tae who shrunk back.

Slowly, very slowly, we moved our hands away from his mouth. Drunk Tae, who I called Trevor, was a fucking noise terrorist and spoke his mind blintly - leaving the cute, loveable Tae out in the wind.

'You don't have to sleep out here. I would have let you have the room.'

'For how long though? Like you said, I will never be alone.' I pointed put. Posh shrugged and peeked over at the sleeping baby before chugging down the rest of what he had in the can. I added before he could speak, 'I'm thinking about moving out, too.'

Two sets of eyes glared at me, or tried.. Tae was having a hard time trying to figure out which emotion he wanted to display. So much emphasis was on his eyebrows that I couldn't help but laugh into my arm.

'Fuck you!' He whisper yelled, chuckling while doing it.

'What about school?'

'I'll still go, but I have to change my classes or get someone to watch him during the day..'

'I'll hire a nanny!' volunteered Tae with a smile on his face. I only looked at him and shook my head.

'I think I should cut back my schedule to at least three maybe four days..'

'You won't be out partying anymore..' Posh smirked. 'Thanks to that kid, you won't be stealing all the girls..'

'Pfffttt!' I chuckled clinking my water cup into his new can. 'Yeah, thanks to my nameless kid.'

'Waaahhh?!? She didn't name him?! Dah hell, man!' Tae grumbled, growling like a little puppy.

'Help me come up with a name! I need to file his paperwork pretty soon.'

We stayed up until the first time the kid woke up which was three hours later arguing over names. It was nice to have my good buddies with me on this. Yes, the baby was mine and my mistake, but they didn't judge me for taking him on. Though the reasons were rooted in selfishness and unreciprocated love.

*** the next daylight/baby screams ***

'Joonwoo has such powerful lungs! Oh yes! Oh yes, he does..' Posh cooed as he held the now red faced and named baby. 'Where is your daddy with your bottle? Hmm? Where is he? If he doesn't come quickly, I'm going to kill him and rise you to be circus musician..'

I popped out from around the corner with a bottle in hand, with a "what the fuck look" on my face. Posh was all smiles, looking as every bit as handsome as he was - not looking like he spent all night drinking. Tae was another story. I already took care of him: pills and water, some hang over cure and Posh was going to make hang over soup.

'Why?!' Tae drug out the word as he groaned into his soup. 'I feel you little Joonie. Uncle Tae messed up so much. My face is so swollen I can barely open my eyes.. Wah.. Wah..'

Joonwoo's hungry suckles filled the room. 'I suppose I am going to be a good father, having to take care of Tae gave me good practice.'

'When have you cared for me?!' Tae snapped, giving me a pointed glance and pointing his spoon at me.

I looked at Posh chuckling. 'You are right, Taeseok. I have never picked you up from outside our apartment when you couldn't get the code. I've never cleaned up your vomit when you threw up in the sink..'

He cringed at that. 'I never picked up from bār wasted off your ass after that Nigerian girl dumped you.'

'Shut up.. Fine. You love me more than my own mother.. Is that what you want me to say?!'

-Aw, son! - I said in a heavy accented English. - come, come. We make the family kimchi.-

He groaned but there was laughter behind it. 'You sound more like my grandmother.'

'I like her's the best. Do you think if I show up, she will give me some?' I wiggled my eyebrows.

'But she hates foreigners..' I shrugged at his comment.

'She will like my baby. I'll tell her you are the mother..'

The soup fell from his mouth as his jaw dropped. Posh asked, without skipping a beat - napkin? -

*** a couple hours later ***

I was nervous. It wasn't me sitting in the expensive lawyer's office or because the baby would be officially registered as mine.. It was the fact I left a perfectly healthy baby in the hands of two goons who didn't know how to take care of themselves.

No.. No.. Let me take that back. They know how to care for themselves, but they suck at caring for others.

The hang nail on my right index finger was bleeding from how much I was picking at it before I finally decided to bite it and pull. Luckily, the fancy lawyer had a fancy secretary who had fancy hand sanitizer that smelled like fancy peaches which gave me a fancy burning sensation.. (Maybe, I should rethink that? Heh heh)

After a few moments, Mr. Park came to collect me himself, walking me down a long hallway leading to his office of windows. I became distracted by the view of downtown Seoul that I completely missed what he was telling me.

'Mr. Blacksted?' His voice was harsh and right behind me. I jerked, jumping at his touch on my shoulder.

'My apologies, Mr. Park.' I looked up from bowing to meet his dark eyes. 'I got lost in the view. Never seen Seoul from this high up.'

He smiled tight lipped seemed polite but didn't reach his eyes and led me back to his meeting table. Two documents waited for me there. One was the original scribbles. The other was the final version.

I sat in the seat closest to the documents and flipped through the final copy. 'This looks to be in order.. minus the amendment about the lifetime supply of ice cream.'

I smiled up at him, trying to be friendly, but I have noticed a lot of Koreans do not like foreigners. I couldn't blame them though. Bad apple Americans have ruined our international relationship. Mr. Park impassive face doesn't flinch at my lame joke; it put me off a little. But I'm not here to make friends with him, so I didn't take his lack of humor seriously.

'Do you have a name for the infant to file for his birth certificate?'

'Yes. Blacksted Joonwoo Andre.'

'Mnm. I will file this with the American Consulate so that he will have dual citizenship. After these records have been filed, Mr. Blacksted, this will conclude our dealings. Until then, Miss Kwon has assigned me to any legal troubles you may have until the process is complete.'

Stiffly, he handed me a business card. I studied the fancy card. It was all black with silver embossing. Even the card stock screamed expensive.

'I don't think I will have any use for our outside of getting the necessary documents for my kiddo. Thank you, anyway.'

I tucked his card into the back pocket of my jeans as I stood up. He reached out his hand and we shook. I hoped I never had to see his stony face or her bitch face again.