I Became The Villain's Secretary

Chapter 7

"Big Brother!" Those were familiar voices, but ones that Renar never, ever thought he would hear. 

"Luna–? How are you here–! Oh lord, Estelle, Celeste! What are you girls doing here!?" 

They were almost identical triplets, no one could tell them apart after seeing them together, yet he never had any doubts, even after all those years. 

So he ran towards them, yet was completely ignored, as if he wasn't there. 

And that's when he understood, that was just a source of his imagination, it was a dream without anything real in it. He was heartbroken at the sight of his sisters chatting brightly with him, because he knew that he was surely found dead by one of his sisters, if not all of them, they were the only ones willing to check on him early in the morning after all. It was a quick and terrible realization that Renar had some days after getting inside this world, and besides his sisters thought that he was now in heaven, but instead he was on another planet with a different life, different family and different name.

"Big brother, do you know what I saw the other day? A pastry shop opening! It was so big, why don't we all go eat breakfast together? I'll pay!"

Renar looked at him, he was different. Smiling, cheerful, dark circles under his eyes but he didn't need to hide, he had people to love. But at least one thing in common remained. 

"Fighting for survival. It's always been like this..." 

But that was still a strained connection, because in his old body he had nothing material, but everything he truly needed, his little sisters, they pushed him to fight to survive and provide them with everything they needed. 

"I was there, I was in that place with them...really, why can't I be there anymore? I still miss them very much." At that sentence that he almost said automatically, everyone, the passers-by, his sisters, him...everyone turned towards Renar. 

"What are you saying? You've never been here." His little sister said. 

'Mh? Who is speaking again? Who is Luna among the three? Which is Estelle, which is Celeste...no, impossible, I...I've always recognized them, I could never forget this!' 

"Right, but who would you be, even if that were the case. My brother isn't like you." 

At that Renar flinched, up until that moment he had never dreamed of his little sisters, but only recurring dreams of places that existed in his previous life, so he was rather confused and surprised. 

"No no, me, that's me! Don't you recognize me?" Everyone went back to how they were before, not realizing his existence. 

"Girls! It's me, it's me!" He went in front of his sisters, tried to touch them but couldn't. He knew it was just a dream but it felt too real, he had never felt so unknown in the world he still remembered so well until that moment.

"I know that we are the same person. Yet now that I see him from outside..." It was a murmur, almost a trembling whisper, but he, he heard it. 

"You are not me." Renar stared at him, almost stunned, he couldn't process his words.

"What are you saying? I am you! You are me!" He really felt sensitive for no reason, and he couldn't understand it, he couldn't understand what he was feeling while he was looking at himself, his sisters and the people around. It's not like he was a kid, he was an adult, he had already accepted his own death even if in a cruel way, but still he had never forgotten it, the love he felt, yet at this sight he was nauseated, he couldn't understand himself. 

"I was there, you're another person, you're different from me! You're just a fake version of me! Because I was in it, I was in that body!" He almost yelled ferociously, he never raised his voice in front of his sisters, so he covered his mouth with both his hands. He almost didn't have the courage to face the people inside his dream, he was worried for nothing and he knew that, but it felt too natural. And when he closed his eyes for a second he started to hear gurgling sounds, and after opening his eyes he gasped from the shock. 

The faces changed, they merged, they were crumbling together with everything else, everything took a new shape, everything caught fire.

'What, what is this place? Where I am now!?' He wouldn't have been so terrified if it weren't for the fact that he felt like he was on fire too.

"Help!" 

"I don't want to die! Save me!" 

"Azrael!"

"See? You shouldn't have stuck your nose in this matter, Eurydice."

The sweat that drenched him woke him, and Renar was absolutely terrified.

"What was that..." 

Luckily it was still night, he had enough time to calm down, "I've never had a crazier dream, why did it happen now that I have to start my plan?" 

It was really a disturbing dream, not only did he lose his temper knowing he was in a dream, but he was caught in a fire all of a sudden. 

"But that place on fire, I think I've seen it somewhere...!" He was trying to remember, to no avail. 

But then again it was still a place on fire, with lots of panicked people and blood everywhere, it was just too messed up. He wouldn't have worried so much if it weren't for that name. 

'Eurydice, the female lead's maid. She was loyal because Catherine saved her family. And I know that in the book there was never a scene like that, she was just a secondary character to highlight the benevolence and kindness of the female lead, she never had any scenes involving fires.' 

Also there was another name, but this time Renar didn't know it, that is Azrael, he just didn't even try to think about it too much, since he knew he had never heard such a name. 

'If only I had had this dream a week earlier I would have been able to look up the name in the library in the Borgia residence, but now I don't have that possibility.' 

It was bad timing, but in the end he was aware that perhaps the dream was simply a dream. Such events were never specified in the novel, and obviously the name of a figure like Eurydice fueled his doubt in the credibility of the dream. 

"Or in the strangest case it's that that was simply something that happened before the start of the main story. But even that wouldn't make sense. Why would I ever dream about it? And apart from that, nothing actually proves that things happened in the dream are real." 

But the fact that Renar is in possession of a body that isn't his was also ambiguous, and he had never been able to understand why it would happen to him of all people, so it's not like he was in any position to determine the nature of an event.

'With time maybe I will be able to find out at least who Azreal is, since it is probably an ancient name. Perhaps a god that the citizens wanted to cling to? But the only Goddess here is Elira, the one who decided to favor Catherine by giving her an astonishing amount of divine powers.' 

Elira was an important figure who wasn't specified much in the book. Important because she is the one who starts the main story, but not mentioned because even though she is a goddess in the end the story focused more on the romantic relationship between Catherine and Edward, the Emperor and the male lead of the novel.

But in the end he knew he didn't even have time to think about it too much. By now his head had too many things to think about, and he didn't want to put his priority behind: Devland.

'Sigh, at this rate I'll go crazy in not even a month!'