FANSERVICE PARADOX || w o o s a n ||

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The days go by quicker than expected. Before he knows it, Wooyoung finds himself on the day of the comeback, few minutes before their livestream. The music video should be out in about an hour, one of their managers told them, which meant they were to start the live right away. He feels weird in the clothes he's dressed in as they all seem a little loose on him. Facing a human sized mirror, he sighs loudly when he sees Minhee, one of his stylists, approach him with three more safety pins between her fingers. She's a sweet girl, around his age, maybe one or two years younger, with a bright red bob cut and few piercings in her ears and nose. She gives him a knowing smile as she stops right next to him, gesturing in the mean time for him to take off the shirt he has to wear over the black tank top. Their theme for today is the same as in the music video, so they are all dressed in a more casual way if you could say so. It's weird to see himself look like this at a comeback livestream, but this is their concept for the next following months and he knows the fans will be pleased regardless.

"You need to put on some weight." Her soft tone breaks him out of his thoughts. When Wooyoung looks down, he sees her arranging the waist band with the pins so they don't look too loose. Since their last fitting a month ago, he is also shocked by how much weight he managed to lose. "Is everything alright?"

They aren't close, but he's been working with her for more than two years now to consider himself somehow comfortable in her presence. She knows not to cross the line, after all they don't consider each other as friends at all but coworkers, but when their eyes lock, he notices some worry in them.

"Why wouldn't it be?" He chuckles and looks back at his reflection in the mirror. The sudden urge to run his fingers through his hair hits him hard, but he is unable to do so since his whole head is full of hair spray. He sees her shrug her shoulders as she continues to tighten his waist band properly.

"Never seen you this thin, that's all." After she's done with the pins, Wooyoung is welcomed back by the black and white shirt. Once with it on, the pins are completely invisible along with the microphone. "Please eat well."

"Will do so." He gives her a fake smile and watches her walk away in hurried steps.

Luckily, the lives goes on smoothly and quickly. He is sat right beside Yeosang, which brings him some warmth and comfort while he fakes his smile and bright aura for the cameras and for his fans who are watching. If only they knew he was far from the happy and cheerful man he plays on TV... Would they be disappointed in him? Or maybe worried? Or what if he suddenly went on hiatus? Would they wait for him as they did for Mingi? He tried to shake these thoughts away, but he can't help but find himself frowning sometimes, almost dropping the whole happy act. Once, he even saw Yeosang looking at him with one brow furrowed lightly. His whole face looked concerned despite masking it well by pretending to look for something on the floor, which was invisible from the way they sat on those tall chairs, but the whole time his eyes were on him.

I'm fine, he wanted to tell him, but couldn't, so the only thing he could do was to clear his throat in a soundless way and put on that smile back on his face.

Before he knows it, he's out of the live on his way to film their reaction to the music video. Yeosang appears in his left in the blink of an eye while San walks in his right, both of them trapping him from escaping any questions about his wellbeing. He fights a sigh from escaping his throat.

"Just so you both know, yes I am fine." He looks from left to right.

"Are you sure?" Yeosang glues himself next to him as they walk. "The stress can overwhelm you since we're back in front of the cameras after a while..."

"Sang..." Wooyoung doesn't say anything else. He knows his best friend got the idea already. "I said I'm fine." He's been worse if he ponders over the thought, way worse, just like a month ago when he broke down in front of everyone. But he's been taking his new meds every morning and evening, and they seemed to do the job well enough for now. If only he could also start mastering the courage to open up if he felt like shit... He simply just can't bring himself to ruing his friend's moods with his sad thoughts. Luckily for him, today his mind is pretty chill.