Seasons of Change

27

Though Atira was less than thrilled about Krist and his little issue the day before, she wasn't trying to dwell on it or let it impact her going forward. Plus, he seemed to be genuinely apologetic for acting a fool as well as agreeing to agreeing to a double date with Jermaine and Angelina at some point.

Of course, Atira later learned that Krist had reached out to both Brad as well as Jeordie, and Cami for their opinions on Jermaine, all three of them pretty much informing him that he was an idiot for even seeing Jermaine as a threat to his marriage.

Cami's exact words were, "Stop being a fucking insecure Jack ass. Atira would never cheat and Jermaine is literally the most harmless, nice guy you could ever meet, he comes into my bakery all the time and is still super nice."

Needless to say, Krist was tore a new one but Brad and Cami while Jeordie sugar-coated his thoughts and stressed that Atira would never cheat nor would Jermaine try to pursue her, adding "I can't believe you don't remember him from school."

In all fairness, Krist was too preoccupied with girls and himself at the time to notice some random ass "nice" guy.

He also felt like a selfish piece of shit when Atira made the point that he most likely didn't even know who her friends were in high school because she was right. He cared about being with Atira and wanted her to herself all the time, just like he did as an adult.

She and Krist had a lengthy conversation about his insecurity, jealousy, and neediness. Atira stressed to him that she loved him more than anyone in the entire world but felt that he needed to work on all of the above and also felt it would be beneficial for him to find a hobby or activity and work on his outside friendships besides focusing solely on her.

That had been hard for him to hear, he felt like Atira viewed him as smothering...which she did to an extent, but Atira assured him she loved being with him and simply felt he was losing his own identity. Not to mention, he was seriously neglecting his friendships since they had become an item. He rarely saw Cami and Jeordie and had completely stopped speaking to Erika and Bryana despite the fact they had been a huge support system for him before Atira came back. Not to mention, Bryana had basically saved his life when he was stabbed.

Krist knew he was clingy and wouldn't deny that, though he didn't see an issue with wanting to spend his time with the people who meant the most to him-his wife and kids.

What Atira didn't have the heart to tell him was that she, herself, felt like she was losing her own identity in their relationship. Atira was a social person who loved exploring and the outdoors. Since being with Krist, she was limited to his people and, well, staying home. She needed to become her own person again.

"I feel like you're trying to punish me or push me away," Krist admitted as the two sat in bed that evening.

Atira spooned blueberry yogurt into her mouth, shaking her head, "Krist, that's not at all what I'm trying to do. I just feel like you and I are starting to become...overly enmeshed with one another and that's not healthy."

Krist picked lint off his sweatpants quietly. He didn't like the idea of not spending time together and still viewed it as a form of punishment since he'd come at her sideways about Jermaine.

"You had a life before me, you don't miss the things you used to do? Not at all?" She asked.

Before Atira, he worked two jobs, hung out with his kid, and occasionally fucked the neighbor lady. So no. He really didn't.

He leaned back on the bed, an arm under his head, "If you feel like you need space and alone time, I'll give you space," Krist told her, trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

He wasn't trying to make her feel bad in any way and didn't want to admit that his therapist, Gregory, had told him that he felt Krist had codependency issues and that separate activities would be good for their relationship as well as a way for him to work on his insecurity issues.

Atira reached for his hand, "I promise you, time apart is a good thing. It's not like we are spending days apart or vacationing away from each other, it would just be you and I taking time for ourselves. It's healthy for our relationship," she assured him.

He linked his fingers between hers, playing with her ring with his thumb, "I know, baby," Krist finally said, "My shrink told me the same thing," he admitted, "It's just hard for me because when  with someone, I want to only spend time with them."

She smiled softly at him, "I know and I get it, I just was thinking not long ago that you never see Jeordie and Cami anymore. I don't want your relationship to fall off because we are being codependent. Plus I think if you find things to do aside from being a house husband and dad, it's going to be good for your mental health. I know I feel stir-crazy."

Atira sat her empty yogurt container on the nightstand, leaning down, and kissed him gently, "I love you so, so much."

Krist pulled her into him, kissing her hungrily, "I love you more than you will ever know, baby."

His hands explored her body, slipping between her thighs until she had melted in his arms, whispering that she needed him inside of her. Eagerly, Krist slid down his sweats and fit himself between her parted thighs, finishing way faster than he would have preferred.

Afterward, he handed Atira a baby wipe, cleaned himself off as well, and trudged to the porch for a late-night smoke session. By late, it was not even nine P.M.

The one thing that stunk about having so many damn young kids was the limited time for intimacy and he missed that. Their sex had gone from mind-blowing, hour-long sessions to twenty minutes tops, if they had time for some degree of foreplay, otherwise, it was five minutes including the cleanup.

He packed a bowl of weed that he'd gotten from Fernando earlier, lighting it and taking a fat hit. Maybe Atira was right, maybe they needed to spend more time apart and learn to be individuals again.