Seasons of Change

50

"Hell no, she ain't ever gonna know him!" Krist told Marisol over the phone after she called to tell him about Karla's letter, "Her kid? The cunt bitch didn't care enough about him to even just fucking call me to just take him. Like, fuck, man. All she had to do was call but she just leaves him with that dude Silent and disappears? She didn't give no fucks about him then and she don't know. I don't know what she thinks she's gonna get out of talking to any of those kids but fuck that, she got no rights to none of em and if Fabian's fat ass wants his kids around her, have at it. Fucking lame."'

"I don't know what she is hoping to get out of it, I told Nina she probably just has nothing better to do than stir up problems," Marisol replied.

"Fuck dude, that shit got me all fucking hyped up. I know that's your sister but man, fuck that bitch."

"Oh, I am heated myself. I should have just thrown that letter out when I saw her name."

"Man, someone ought to throw the whole damn bitch away," Krist muttered.

He could hear Nina in the background, asking something. Marisol sighed, replying, "Nina, I am not asking about that."

Krist was in a mood but also wanted to know exactly what Nina needed to know, "What did she ask?"

Marisol sighed again, "I'm just going to put her on speakerphone, I don't want to even say it."

Atira shot Krist a look, she was wanting to know as well, so he put her on speakerphone, heart began to race.

"Krist?" Nina began, "Did you really...mess with her when I was in the hospital?"

He felt as if the wind was knocked out of his chest, that was a question he hadn't anticipated but fuck it, may as well come completely clean.

"Yeah. I did," he said solemnly, "It was hella shady of me, both of us."

atira's jaw fell open, she didn't even try to hide it from him.

"Krist!" Marisol exhaled, "Are you freaking for real?"

"Yeah. I ain't proud of it but yeah, I got no reason to front now. I don't even know why she brought that shit up to you. If any of you talk to her, tell her I said not to expect anything regarding my son, she knows she got no rights to him and Atira is his legal mother now."

After the phone call ended, Atira stared at him with her mouth still open, "You cheated on her when she was in the hospital giving birth? Krist!"

Krist picked at his cuticles, "Yeah, I did. I was a piece of shit back then," he sighed.

"So how did that even happen?"

He let out a deep breath, hands sweating, "So I was at the getting gas, legit on my way to the hospital and she comes up to me out of nowhere, saying her bitch ass homegirl kicked her out of the car and she needed a ride home or whatever. I said sure. We start driving and she's all 'Oh you cute for a white boy' and some shit about with Fabian gone she ain't been getting sex or some shit like that. I don't remember exactly how it went but she kind of threw it out like she was trying to mess with me and I said yes.

"She was like 'We can't be going to my house because my sister home but my homegirl lives around here and she got a room we can use'. So I was like, 'Cool just tell me where to go', and that was about it. We had sex, I smoked some shit with her and her homegirl and left."

Atira looked completely appalled, "Wow..."

He nodded slowly, "Yup. Obviously, I could have said no but I was hella dumb back then."

"How long did all of that go on for? With karla?

Krist thought for a moment, "Couple months? I'll be honest, I don't know exactly how long because time goes by hella fast when you tweaking like I was back then. Bro and when Nina found out and left Karla was still tryna fuck around, she didn't give a fuck."

"So...did you?"

He shook his head, "Naw, I was pretty done at that point. I knew I was a piece of shit for doing it, to begin with, but when it came out, I...I definitely felt completely low for it," Krist chuckled, "My mom used to always tell us when we were growing up if you would feel bad about doing something if people knew about it, that means you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. That right there, prime example."

Atira nodded, "I'll say..."

"Bro, what did Karla even get about bringing that up? Or any of that shit up? Talking about my kids," he clicked his tongue, "And Fabian? Bruhhh..."

"To hurt her, I'm guessing?"

Krist shrugged, "Man. I hate that bitch."

"At least one good thing came from her, Rocco."

He nodded in agreement, "That's what I remind myself of," Krist replied, looking at his wife, "So do you think I'm a complete piece of shit?"

Atira pursed her lips together, "Not anymore," she teased, "I never did though."

****

Gwendolyn was sprawled out on the bed, her little mouth open as she slept. How could such a tiny person be such a bed hog Madison wondered as she waited for his call.

They had been talking almost nightly since Halloween, he'd call her on the drive home from work and they'd talk the full 45 minutes. It had started just as a friendly thing and even though the talk never was worse than playful flirting, and lord knows he was a flirt, it felt like there could be something more between them down the road after she got her own place, left Brad and he found a new shop to work in.

Fernando had reached out to her through Facebook on Halloween after he'd gotten home that night. They talked a lot about Adriana and Lainey, sobriety, life changes, and loss.

Even if nothing came from their talks, Madison liked talking to him. He was one of the few people who knew her past, the entire dirty, shame-filled past, and didn't think any less of her for who she was. He told her who she used to be didn't define who she was.

Madison liked the fact that he was working to become a better person for himself and his kids, he was doing the things she wished her husband would do.

Brad had seen her twice since Halloween, he didn't bring anything over for the baby or offer her any money. The first time he gloated that he was selling the Cadillac and got a financed Tesla. "It wasn't the Model S," he complained, "but thank god it was another Tesla".

Gwen had already been asleep that evening, he insisted she come for a ride in the new car though. Begrudgingly, Madi turned the baby monitor on for Linda and left.

The "ride" consisted of him driving down Mill Plain, offering her a Starbucks before parking on a dark street, pulling his dick out and demanding a blow job. She'd initially protested until she could see the anger flash in his face, allowing him to shove her face down on him.

After he finished, he patted her on the head, told her he loved her, and then returned her to his mother's house. The whole exchange felt dirty and that was coming from an ex-prostitute. At least when she was an actual sex worker, she left with $75 bucks and not just a $7 coffee and tears in her eyes.

The second visit wasn't much different. Brad showed up after work, he told her to have a meal prepared for him so she made grilled chicken, yellow rice, and green beans. He wasn't thrilled by the meal and ate it in bitter silence, not speaking.

Once again, Gwendolyn was asleep because it was late. He started back on the "I love you, I missed you so much shit" before pulling her pants down and bending her over the bed. And like the prior time, once he had finished, he informed her he loved her and left.

The way he made her feel after their sexual encounters had pretty much turned her off from sex completely and that was another reason she began to view Fernando differently because he was no longer over-the-top sexual. He was just companionship, exactly what she felt she needed.