Seasons of Change

52

Atira's father had insisted on hosting Thanksgiving that year, inviting Krist's family to join the festivities. It wasn't a huge gathering, just Bill and Linda, Maddie and Gwen, Kali and Pat, Brooke, Holly and the girls, and of course Atira and her family. Nurse Jocelyn was also in attendance, and Douglas officially declared their relationship, much to Atira's dismay.

Madison had put in her divorce papers before Brad had gotten a chance. Bill, being an attorney, helped her fill them out so everything was good and proper, even offering to get her a good divorce attorney in the event Brad decided to play difficult.

Brad wasn't hard to locate which meant things were moving quickly. He'd been served the following day by a friend of Bill's who stated Brad appeared to be in a state of shock. Madi hoped her divorce was finalized by the time of Gwen's first birthday.

"I am so proud of you for leaving!" Brooke told Madison, giving her a huge hug, "Did he get upset?"

Madison shrugged, "He's the one who threw it out there but I have been planning to leave, just wasn't sure how to go about it but I'm glad he hasn't been horrible about it."

What did you request for your custody agreement?" Holly wanted to know.

"Full custody, asking a thousand a month for child support," Madison admitted.

Brooke and Holly nodded approvingly, "Good job, girl," Holly smiled.

"Is this the Brad fan club?" Krist teased, taking a sip of sparkling cider.

The women exchanged amused looks, "I know about fan club," Holly laughed, taking Audrey from his arms, "I've got the worst baby fever," she cooed, smiling at Brooke.

"Does that mean you wanna babysit?" Krist teased.

"I would totally be down to," Holly told him, "Camila and Ellie don't love their cuddles like they did now that they're independent ladies.

"Sounds like Gabriel, legit never sits still."

****

The Thanksgiving dinner had been catered and was absolutely fantastic. Douglas had turkey, ham, tomahawk steaks, and all the traditional sides, leaving everyone delightfully full.

Krist went out to the back deck to smoke, enjoying the view of the Columbia on that drizzly night. His old apartment had overlooked the river as well, he missed sitting out on the balcony with a joint watching the boats and airplanes. The new spot had a cool wrap-around porch and it was chill but something about the river was soothing.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Krist glanced over his shoulder, Madi stood a few feet away, hands clasped in front of her nervously. He didn't really want to talk to her but nodded, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

"I just want to apologize for how I reacted to you when we talked last," she said quietly, "I know what you were telling me was the truth and sometimes the truth hurts, you know?"

He hit the joint, shrugging as he exhaled, "I probably could have been nicer about my whole...spiel."

A small smile played upon Madison's lips, "I was going to say that but, yes."

"I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a dick," Krist chuckled, "Aye good for you for losing Brad, though, for real. And staying clean, I know that shit ain't easy."

Madison gazed across the river towards the PDX airport watching a plane take off, "It's not, at all. I have spent like half my life being high all the time, it's hard to change something that's been your norm," she admitted, "If it wasn't for Gwen, I don't know if I could do it. I already fucked up my chance at raising Jade, I didn't want to do that to another kid."

Krist took another hit, "I feel you, if it wasn't for Rocco, I probably would be doing the same shit I always did."

"That's how I feel about having Gwen," she sighed, "I completely fucked up my whole pregnancy but going to rehab...and the sober house, helped me see things differently and actually have some hope."

"That's good, Gwen needs one good parent because we all know my fuckin' brother ain't gonna bother," Krist said, putting the joint out in an empty soda can, "Sucks to say but it's true."

Madison nodded, "It is, he acted like he cared when he was down but as soon as he got out, he stopped caring. He stopped seeing Camila and Ellie about a month afterward...and Gwen not much longer after that. Only came around he needed something from me."

"If it makes you feel any better he completely fooled me that he was changed when he was in prison. I feel hella dumb believing him," Krist shook his head.

"He's such a piece of shit," Madison muttered with a sigh.

Krist nodded, "That he is."

Madison nodded slowly, still watching the lights from the airport, "Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure, go ahead."

She bounced her ankle against the side of her chair anxiously, "Do you think about Lainey still?"

Krist picked a stray blond hair off his button-down, dropping it to the side, and nodded, "Yeah, all the time," he admitted, "All the time."

"Me too, I feel...Sometimes I feel like if I hadn't picked your brother over her, she'd still be here. How do you stop blaming yourself?" Madison asked him.

"I don't know if you ever do. I know sometimes I just lay in bed, with like this sick feel that if I had been nicer when she called that night, maybe it would have been different," Krist confessed, "I wasn't trying to be an asshole to her but I didn't know what else to say. Told her she needs to leave Portland and get clean, ain't shit gonna be any better if she stayed living here."

"I do the same thing like I completely blew her off to go be with Brad. She was trying to come along and we wanted to be alone...and then she bought that shit off whoever when we were gone..." Madison's voice trailed off.

Krist swallowed hard, blinking back tears, "I know it sounds cold but I think everybody got a time and I guess it was her's."

Madison nodded, not looking at him, "That's what Fernando told me too. Her and Adriana both, it was just their time. Same with Deangelo."

"Fucking sucks but that's the only thing that makes sense to me, you know?"

"Yeah..." she said softly, wrapping her arms around her slender frame, "It's kind of chilly, I should probably go in, I'm sure Gwendolyn is wondering where I am."

Krist nodded, glancing over at Madison, "We good?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded, "We are."