Seasons of Change

63

Slowly rising to her feet, she scanned the room for something, anything, she could use as a weapon only to come up empty-handed. Fernando had mentioned just that perhaps she should consider purchasing a gun for her protection, an idea that she shrugged off due to her anxiety around firearms, especially with a young child in the home. Madison wished she had followed his advice.

"Why are you here?" she asked, knowing full well why.

"After all the shit I did for you, you want to ruin my life?" he asked her, eyes dark and filled with cold hatred.

Madison saw him coming toward her and knew violence would be inevitable. She positioned herself between him and her bed, the furthest point away from Gwendowlyn's crib. "Please don't hurt Gwen," she whispered.

"You think I give a fuck about that baby?"  he asked her before Grabbing a fistful of her hair, nearly yanking her off her feet as Madison clawed and kicked in a failed attempt to free herself. Unfortunately, Brad was significantly larger than her and overpowered her easily, pinning her on the bed.

Only one of two things, possibly both, were about to happen, something Madison refused to allow herself
To fall victim to. He sat on her torso, pinning her with his weight as his slender fingers wrapped around her throat, blocking off her air. She dug her fingernails into his flesh in an attempt to free herself only angering him more.

Brad removed his left hand, his dominant hand, and struck her several times in the face, spitting on her. He released the hold on her neck, grabbing her wrists with one hand while attempting to force his hand down the front of her pajamas. Madison squirmed, rocking up and kicking him firmly enough to cause him to briefly lose his focus.

She kicked again and again, fighting him off of her only to be overtaken once more. Brad pummeled her with his fists, stunning her. He forced her thighs apart with his leg, she fought him as much as she could, refusing to let him defile her.

One lucky knee to the groin was enough to disable him temporarily. Brad grunted in pain, Madison kneed him again, freeing herself. She slid off the bed, rushing towards her phone only to find that the battery was dead.

"You're gonna pay for that, bitch," Brad told her through clenched teeth, he leaped off the bed, pinning her face down on the floor. This is it, she thought grimly, still struggling to get out from under him as he yanked her bottoms down.

Madison fought back the hot tears that rolled down her cheeks, mixing with the blood on her face. Happy place, happy place, happy place she thought to herself, feeling like a helium balloon that had unattached from its tether.

She thought about Lainey and childhood. Playing ballerina and Barbies in Lainey's rainbow tulle bedroom. Glittery makeup, Lisa Frank stickers, the feel of a warm breeze on their skin as they rode the carousel at the county fairs, their faces sticky with cotton candy.

Why did I choose him over you?

Forcefully Brad rolled her onto her back, yanking her hair so her head was at an awkward angle, her neck exposed.

He wants you to fight him.

Madison closed her eyes, praying for it to be over soon.

There had been a day near the end of summer that was warm but not too warm. Deangelo had gotten some bud and a bottle off his cousin, saying knew of the perfect spot down the railroad tracks by his mom's house.

They made the trek down the tracks to this little secluded spot that at one point had been a homeless camp but was since cleaned up. It was perfect, there was a small area for a fire, a log to sit on, and all the wildflowers one could imagine.

Madison had brought her pink guitar, strumming as they made up songs. They made love next to the first, lying beneath the sparkling night sky, sharing dreams of the future and making jokes about aliens watching them.

That was the night she had gotten pregnant with Jade.

Madison missed him. She missed Lainey. But it wasn't time for her to see them again.

She knew Brad had ejaculated and could see the gravity of the situation hit him as he sat on the edge of her bed, face buried in his hands. Madison didn't want to move, fearful it would ignite his rage again.

He was crying, "Please don't tell anyone what I did," he wept, "I can't go back to prison."

Madison would have told him anything to get him out of the house. She bit her quivering, "I won't. I promise I won't."

Silently, Brad cleaned himself with a baby wipe and disappeared. She lay silently on the floor of her bedroom, listening to the sound of his footsteps disappearing and the light thud of the back door closing.

Gwendolyn was asleep, undisturbed in her crib, her soft breath loud in the deathly silence. Petrified, Madison pulled her pajama bottoms up, curling into a ball on the floor and crying softly to herself.

What if he comes back?

****

The house was silent when Bill and Linda came home around three that morning which was to be expected. Linda noted that Madison's light was still on which itself was not unusual. Madi read a lot and often fell asleep with the light on.

Linda gently opened the door so as not to disturb her and immediately noticed the room in complete disarray. And then she saw Madi.

"Call for an ambulance!" Linda shouted to her husband despite Madison's protesting.

****

Word of the assault had reached Fernando that morning in the form of a message through Krist. "Aye, my mom needed me to tell you Brad did something to Madi, she in hospital right now and gonna be ok. But she hella fucked up."

Fernando sat on the front porch with his joint and morning coffee, jaw tight, eyes glossy. He should have fucking told her to stay. Since when had he ever cared about coming off wrong with a female? The wheelchair had affected his confidence but nonetheless, it didn't need to make him a bitch. Brad was done for. If he had any say in how it happened, it was going to be long, drawn out with him taking Brad's last ounce of life.