By My Side [JENLISA FF]

Part 19

It was very peaceful at the beach although it was weekend and one should've expected more people around, but obviously Lisa knew this special place. So, the only people they saw was another couple walking somewhere in the distance.

Lisa and Jennie walked in silence for a while just holding hands and enjoyed being together after these lonely weeks. After a while Lisa leaned over and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up and smiled at her, then they continued their silent march. There was light breeze, they could hear some seagulls and noises of the water.

Jennie stopped and took a deep breath: "It's wonderful out here. How do you know this special spot."

Lisa looked to the ground for a moment as if to struggle with the answer, then she raised her head again: "Emma and I used to come here." she watched her waiting for her reaction.

She smiled: "So you're ready to finally let go?"

Lisa smiled back happy she understood her so well: "Yeah. I thought it was appropriate coming here. You know to start fresh with you. Leaving the guilt behind me, so it won't haunt us anymore - well somehow at least." she stroked her cheek: "I know it'll ever be with me, but I am not allowing it to run my life anymore."

They began to walk again.

"I thought you'd realised it was a fault. Us, I mean. When you didn't come to the hospital, and nobody knew where you were. Then Nadech came with your note." Her voice was even and quiet, but Lisa could hear the sadness in it.

Lisa kissed the back of her hand: "You'll never know how sorry I am. But it just came rushing back and then your ..." she took a deep breath. "However. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't deal. I'm usually not the run-away type."

"I don't know if I can forgive him," Jennie said. "How could he do this to me? I always thought he loved me." Tears were threatening in her eyes.

Lisa stopped her and put a finger under her chin to make her look at her: "he loves you."

She let out a short unhappy laugh, but she insisted:

"He does. Jennie, he loves you very much. Everyone can see that. But he's afraid to loose you. Again. He thinks if you're falling in love then you'll disappear like you did some years ago. It's a very irrational fear and maybe he isn't even aware of it. He thinks he's angry with me, but actually he's only scared." Lisa leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"You think?" there was hope in her voice. And she truly hoped, hoped nothing more this might be true. Because she could, would, forgive him for this - eventually.

"I'm sure. You have to talk. Assure him, that you still love him and that nothing will change that feeling."

"I love you," Jennie whispered. "I cannot believe I could ever live without you. It's as if I only started living when you came into my life."

"The feeling's mutual," Lisa replied, closing her arms around her. "I want this to work," she said suddenly. "I love you so much. I never thought something like this was possible. It's almost unreal."

"It's very real," Jennie protested with a smile. "I'm very real."

"Yeah," Lisa whispered and caught her lips in a kiss that told her about her deep love and devotion.

Jennie felt like flying, nobody had ever kissed her like this. It wasn't a very passionate kiss, but it held so much love it literally took her breath away and she tried everything to show her feelings as well. When they came up for air again, she smiled: "Wow."

They laughed, their foreheads still touching.

"I want this to work too," she said. "I cannot think ever living without you again. It's so strong it scares me."