Without you. - [Chenford Story]

Chap 2 : The Letter.

His phone woke him up this morning. Wesley. His Daughter was with him. Anxiety hit him.

T - Something wrong with Ellie ?
W - She is fine. A lawyer called me this morning, he wanted to drop me off something for you. It's from Lucy. It's here.
T - From .. hm right, be there soon. i was supposed to, you know ..

He got up, took a shower, and drove to Angela and Wesley's house. Something from her was waiting for him, almost two weeks after her death. He parked his car in front the house, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Angela opened it " Jackson please, pants is not an option if you want to play outside ". He walked into the house, looked for his baby girl.

A - She's sleeping in my bedroom
T - May i ?
A - Of course, go.

He went straight to Angela's bedroom. She was there, sleeping, calmly. He had missed her. Two nights were to much. She will come home with him. He went out of the bedroom and found Wesley in the kitchen. Quick handshake. Angela joined them. Wesley gave the something from Lucy to Tim. He opened the envelope, a another one was in it, labeled " Tim ". It was her handwritting.

A - Take your time, we're here if you need..

Tim nodded, and Angela left the room with Wesley. He sat on a chair, took a deep breath and opened it, his hands were shaking.

" Tim, my love.

If you read this letter now, well, it's because something happen. I'm sorry. I love you. I will never forget the first time i realized i was really in love with you : We were in the shop, you were dating Ashley, you were supposed to go in Hawaii, i told you about the engagement thing, you flipped out about everyting and i asked you if saw yourself married to her. You said yes. Something changed in my heart. You were not anymore just Tim. You know, you saved me in different ways : that day when you found me and got me out of the barrel, when i got shot, when my parents hurt me, when Jackson died, when you stayed with me, when you drove me home, when you educate me, when you had my 6.. With you i felt seen, love, secure. And i wish, one day, you can see yourself as i saw you, everyday. We bet on our love, it was the better decision we ever made until her. One month ago i gave birth to our daughter. How magical it was. She was the better decision we've made. We created her, look how beautilful she is. I saw you becoming a father, and that light you've got that day on your face was pure. You were affraid of fatherhood because of your father, but let me tell you, you are just perfect. One of my biggest fear is her growing up without me. And, well, if you are reading this, it's happening. I'm heartbroken. But i know, with you, she is safe and loved. I made her a box, inside you will find : a letter for her, a memory stick with a video of me, a scarf, a list of my favorites movies and music, our first picture of the 3 of us, some pictures of me and her, you and me, and a special necklace. That box is in my dressing, top shelf, behind shoes' boxes, her name is on it.

Babe, once again, i'm sorry for being unable to stay alive. I loved you until the end. Don't blame yourself for anything. You can do everything. It will be hard, i know, but you will figure it out. And even if i'm not physically with you, i'm everywhere. Always. Take care of our baby, tell her how much i loved her, how much i'm proud of her. Tell her she's strong, important, beautifull just the way she is. She can be whoever she wants. Show her the world, your world, my world. Take her to the station sometimes, they will take care of her you know? Tell her why i'm not here anymore, she has to know. But for that, first, you have to take care of you. Take the time you need but go out, have a drink with the gang, let them help you, date someone. Stay colorfull, smile, laugh. Be angry if you need it. Stay the man i love.

I will love always love you : in the past, now, and beyond the moon. And when you will be an old old old man, you will have the right to join me. And if you miss me too much, maybe we can have dates in your dreams, on that bench, you know ? I love you, I love you both.

Lucy ".

Tears were running down his face, in silence. His heart was in million pieces. She was not here anymore, but she was right about something. She was everywhere. He needed fresh air. He opened the backyard's door and went outside. He sat in silence next to Angela who was keep an eye on Jackson. She took his hand in hers. They stayed a bit like this, in silence.

T - I'm taking Ellie home with me when she's awake.. Thank you Ang'.
A - Anytime, Tim.. I'm here, we are all here.
T - I know. She knew it too.
A - You wanna talk about it ?
T - Not ready, maybe later..
W - I think someone is not sleeping anymore..

Tim stood up, her baby was in Wesley's arms. Her face lit up when she saw her father's face. That smile could heal everything. Tim took her in his arms, and hugged her. It was good to have her against him. She was a perfect mix of Tim and Lucy. He stayed a bit with Angela and Wesley. He finally took Ellie's stuff and went back home.

After he fed her, he went to his bedroom, and laid her down on his bed next to him. He had realized that he didn't explain her why her mommy wasn't here anymore.

T - Little bean, listen, i have a couple things i want to share with you. You may not understand, but.. Two weeks ago, when mommy was at work something bad happen to her. A bad guy hurt her and she died. When you died, you can't come home anymore. Mommy didn't abandon us, she fought, she tried to make the city, your city safer. She loved you from the day she learnt you where in her belly, until the moment she closed her eyes forever. She's everywhere. So Ellie now, it's just You and me, and a bunch of people who will love and protect you. I love you so much...

He kissed her forehead.

T - You are ready for your nap ?

He started to sing her song. She softly fell asleep against him. How peacefull it was. He stayed here thirty minutes, watched her sleeping. He took his phone again, dialled her number. He needed to hear her voice, once again.