Without you. - [Chenford Story]

Chap 3 : Dada.

It's been two months since she passed away. Tim was back on patrol, but only on patrol—he quit METRO. He needed time for his daughter, now that he was a single parent.

Every day was a new stage in his life. Some were easy; others were hard.

It was a typical Sunday morning. He sat in the living room while Ellie played nearby. He was on the phone with Angela, watching Ellie when she suddenly pointed at him with her tiny finger and said, " Dada." Her first word. In that moment, it was everything. He hung up the phone and sat beside her. She had named him. She crawled toward him, and he scooped her up, kissed her cheek, and set her back down.

" I'm so proud of you. Mom is too."

He never imagined himself as a single father, but life hadn't given him a choice. Over the past two months, he had called Angela countless times for advice—first fever, first tooth, first boo-boo, first fall, first purée. He knew nothing.

Later that day, someone knocked at the door. He opened it to find Tamara. It was hard for her too. She had lost someone who had saved her, an adoptive sister. She was afraid of losing him and Ellie too; they were all she had left.

" My home will always be yours, Tam," he said one day.

Today, she wanted to spend time with Ellie—to be there, to be home.

" Tam, I was wondering... could you take care of her for an hour or so?"

She smiled and nodded. He kissed Ellie goodbye. " Be good for Tam. I'll be back." He grabbed his car keys, drove for twenty minutes, and parked. He walked through the graves until he found hers. He cleaned up the headstone and sat in front of it. It felt surreal seeing her name engraved there. His mind was still processing the loss. He came twice a week to talk or sit in silence. He had been sitting there for ten minutes, quiet.

" She said 'Dada' this morning," he began. " It was unexpected. She's softened me even more than you did. She's you. I see you in her—in the way she looks at me, the way she laughs. She crawls like a champion, faster every day. You'd be proud. Tam's with her now, and she's doing fine. She'll probably eat with us tonight. I laughed for the first time the other day—thanks to your daughter, who thought purée belonged on Kojo. It felt strange, though... laughing you know. I felt so guilty."

He paused.

" I miss you so much, Luce. I'm still waiting for you to come home. When the phone rings, I still hope it's you. When she cries at night, I still hear you saying, 'Your turn.' Your scent is still in the closet. It's hard being here without you when you're everywhere. Do you think it'll ever be okay? I'm trying, but it's so hard..."

His phone buzzed—a message from Tamara. It was a video. " You didn't tell me! I can't stop her; she keeps saying 'Dada' over and over." He smiled and played the video for Lucy. Twice. He stood up, glanced one last time at the headstone.

"I love you."

He touched the grave, then walked back to his car. It was always hard to leave.

◇───────◇───────◇

At 6 a.m., he switched off his alarm and got ready before tending to Ellie. Every morning, he dropped her off at Angela's. They shared the same nanny; it was the only way he could return to work. Angela trusted the nanny, so he did too.

He kissed Ellie goodbye, left instructions, and offered Angela a ride to the station. The ride was silent. Angela gave him a knowing look.

"You didn't sleep, did you?"

"One or two hours..."

"Maybe you should see someone, Tim. Someone to talk to."

"I have you."

"I'm a detective, not a therapist. You can always talk to me, but maybe..."

"He won't be better than you. He won't bring her back."

"Tim..."

"Please. Not now."

She let it go. She knew he wasn't ready, but she had to try. She always tried. He rode with Thorsen that day. Most of the shift passed in silence, except for work-related talk. Aaron didn't mind. He tried to make small talk, but it didn't land. Tim was back in his old TO mode—the way he was before Lucy. His mind was full: his daughter, his life, his work, his grief.

It was too much for one man.

At the end of the shift, he waited for Angela to leave. She arrived five minutes later. He started the car, music playing. The universe was mocking him—it was her favorite song, the one she used to sing all the time. A reminder she was gone.

" I'm not ready to let her go," he admitted.

Angela's heart broke. She knew he wasn't refusing help because he was stubborn. He was scared. Scared that moving on meant losing Lucy again.

" It's not letting her go just because you ask for a little help," she said softly.

He nodded, tears in his eyes, fixed on the road.

She was right.

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12/05/2024 - Here we go, Chap 3. Hope you liked it ! Please vote :) See you for the next one.