Love and Fury

Chapter 10

     It's been a month since Seth walked me home that day. We talked a lot on the way to my house. I think it was sweet of him to even offer to walk me home, I've never had that happen before. Not unless we were already dating, then they just felt obligated I believe. Seth seemed like he really did want to walk me home, no strings attached. Unless those strings were us talking about our lives and getting to know each other.

     I found out a lot about him during that walk to my house. He has been to this school before, but moves around a lot due to family issues. Those issues are relatively close to my issues with my own parents. Due to him having those issues, a close family friend adopted him and now they're taking care of him until he's 18 and can do life on his own. He's a year younger than me, but he acts like such a gentleman.

     He told me about his younger brother, how he would do anything to protect him. He made sure that he brought his younger brother with him to make sure that he could take care of him. His parents definitely could not. One is in jail, the other runs around with their boyfriend doing drugs. Not a care in the world for their children. It's sickening to me.

     It felt like he was unraveling his entire life to me, and at the end of all of it, he then told me he doesn't know why he told me all of that. He said he hasn't been able to be open with anyone anymore, but he just felt like he could open up with me. I told him it's probably because I understand. Maybe not on the level that he feels it on, but I know how I feel when my parents are on something or acting a fool. I can't imagine how it must feel for him.

     I told him a little about myself after that, mostly things everyone at school knows that maybe he doesn't. I said about us moving house to house, and how bad my parents are when they're really wanting something. I didn't want to open up too much. I gave my trust to someone already and that backfired on me so bad. I don't want to feel that pain again.

     This entire month, Seth has been trying to get close to me. I don't know if it's creepy or sweet. I can tell that he likes me a lot already, and I think I like him; but I won't tell him that. I don't know what I want yet. Yes, it would be nice to feel love again. I just don't know if I want to feel that hurt again.

     Sky keeps telling me that I should go for it. Even if we don't get together, I should let him take me on a date. She keeps telling me I don't know until I try. Even pointed out that he might be my forever person, but I won't know because I won't take a leap of faith. I just don't think Sky has ever been that hurt by someone before. I'm terrified.

     I'm terrified because that pain destroyed me for a week. A week I let someone affect my life. What if something happens, and I let him destroy me for even longer? My head and heart have been in an unending battle since he asked me if I wanted him to walk me home. I can't get him out of my head. Seth McKee.

     He isn't even like drop dead hot or anything. It's just the way he presents himself. He's soft, caring, and kind. I honestly don't know how he doesn't have a girlfriend. Like I said he isn't hot but he just knows everything to say when you want to hear it. He knows when you need a hug, or whenever you're having a bad day.

     He's so average looking, that it makes me think people go for looks and not personality. His personality is everything. He wears glasses, and has just a normal shade of brown eyes. His hair looks like an overgrown Justin Bieber cut. I'm talking about little baby JB not the adult version JB. He's not skinny, but he isn't obese either. Literally just your average male.

     Like I said, it's just the way he is. When I come to school upset, he makes sure he does everything he can to make me happy. He never makes me talk about things that I don't want too. He answers the phone as soon as I call. He's always trying to hang out with me. I'm just terrified to take a leap of faith. Too scared of getting hurt. I think I have to do it, though.