Nineteen

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"Of course, I love you." Tom's voice was soft, just above a whisper as he gently patted her hip. "Now lay back down and close your eyes for a little while longer." He mumbled, not at all interested in dealing with whatever crisis she was going through that early.

With a soft frown, Stevie shifted on her knees so that she was still sitting up but she could look at him better. "Are you still seeing someone else...?" She wondered, not in a harsh way, but instead in a curious, almost soft manner.

She wasn't trying to argue.

He let out the deepest sigh, letting go of her waist immediately just for both of his arms to lazily fall to the bed. "Damnit, Stevie." Tom shook his head head, rolling his eyes as a hint of annoyance washed over him. "It's six in the morning and this is how you want to start the day?" He was no longer in a decent mood- he was fed up already.

Letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second as she bit down on her lower lip. "I don't want to fight, I just want-"

"No, you just want to ruin Christmas Eve, like always." He shook his head in disbelief as he pushed himself away from her.

Creasing a brow, she let out of a scoff. "Like always?" She shook her head lightly, no longer in the mood to be friendly either.

"Yeah," he chuckled, but not in a humorous way- in a really harsh way, actually. "You always want to start some of kind shit when we're together." He was pushing himself up in the bed, running his hand across his face as he used the other to pull the string for the lamp.

"I was just asking, Tom." She held up her hands in defense as she watched him swing his legs over the edge of the bed. "I just want to talk to you, not fight with you." She was being honest, she really was... She wasn't trying to be argumentative or anything like that, especially not while they were with their children.

She didn't want to ruin anything for them, even though he always believed that to be the case.

"Well you bring up such stupid stuff at such crazy times." The tone in his voice had shifted and any chance they had at having a good day was long gone already. "Here we are, trying to enjoy each others company for once and then you bring up this?" He was standing up by then, throwing a hoodie over his head before he began to travel towards the bathroom to brush his teeth.

She paused for a second, sinking down to sit in the messy sheets. "So there is someone else?" Stevie could tell by how defensive he got that it was happening again... Just like the first time and all the ones to follow- he always got so short fussed when she'd bring it up.

"Our agreement was to live separately," he had his tooth brush in one hand as he held the other out to motion towards her. "That's what you wanted and that's what you got, Stevie." Tom reminded her, even though he was certain that wasn't something she could have forgotten...

Their separation was not simple... Not then and not when it started a couple of years earlier.

Creasing a brow, she could feel the tears begin to blur her vision. "I-"

"Don't do that." He warned, shaking his head. "Don't start crying and making me feel bad for a decision that you made." Tom told her in the most stern way possible. "I never wanted you to leave me." He really didn't- not in the slightest, but he also couldn't stop her.

She had a rough time after the kids moved out. She didn't know what to do with herself. She had a thousand hobbies but they all seemed to revolve around the two people that she had raised... Once her babies were out of the house, she didn't know how to just be someone's wife anymore, not when they had always had that buffer.

There was never a time in their marriage when they weren't busy chasing Brooke and Sam around the house, so for their home to totally stand still was really catastrophic for her... And him not wanting anymore children just added to that.

"I'm not crying over that," she admitted, bringing one hand up to hide her sudden hint of emotion. "I'm crying because this is what our marriage has come to." She was more embarrassed than she was sad...

His jaw settled, staring at her with narrow eyes as he let out a dry chuckle. "No one is begging you to stay." He reminded her of her something he had said for years... Whenever shit hit the fan, that was his go- to.

But of course, like most people, Tom had the tendency to say things he didn't mean in the heat of the moment and that was always it. He never meant that, not really, even though he put on a pretty convincing front... He didn't remember a life without her and he didn't want to either, even if it was an awfully difficult situation.

She stared at him for a moment and then nodded her head. "Fine," Stevie immediately began to crawl down the bed, both of her feet meeting the hard wood floor. "That's fine." She repeated as she grabbed her curling iron off the stand and tossed it into her bag.

Letting out a gentle sigh, Tom started to feel bad instantly. "I don't want you to leave, Steph." His voice grew soft, heart sinking into the pit of stomach as he watched her throw all of her things back into her suitcase.

She let out a little laugh, holding up her hand to stop him. "I'm leaving," she assured, not at all in the mood to even negotiate or discuss any further. "I'm leaving and you get to explain to our children why."

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