Reassurance || Leah Williamson

One

November 5, 2023. Match day against Arsenal. I'm slightly nervous as to how this will go because it's going to be one of my last games for Man City. At least that's what Gareth said.

According to Gareth and my agent, I'm getting traded during the January window. I couldn't be happier; I guess I don't really have an option. I don't necessarily like change all the much either.

Standing in the tunnel, I finally look up to see Jill Roord and Victoria Pelova talking amongst themselves in Dutch, wishing each other good luck, probably. I wasn't really listening, though Vic turned and gave me a small smile, which I returned. I knew I'd talk to them after the game because that's when I'm not so worried about my performance. Right now I'd rather focus on myself and not deal with distractions that cause my mind to spiral.

That wouldn't be ideal right now. Obviously.

"Hey... Van den Berg, right?" A voice next to me questioned in rather good Dutch. Lotte Wubben-Moy. She was the one to snap me out of my thoughts this time. Usually Jill would do that before games because I'd get so zoned out and wouldn't realize we were walking out of the tunnel. Last time it happened she was behind me and pushed me almost causing me to trip and fall; I almost swung at her for that one.

I turn and reply, "Yeah, that's me," giving her a grin.

"Could we maybe swap shirts after the match?" The English accent was evident.

"Oh my god, yeah!" I smiled at her. Lotte's such an underrated defender. She deserves recognition for the work she puts in.

"Okay, great, good luck." She grins as she turns to start walking out. I utter a quick good luck back and follow my team out of the tunnel.

Arsenal kicks off the 90-minute match and starts to press forward, holding possession like normal. Our back line, consisting of Alex and I at centerback, Kerstin at right back, and Leila at left back, moves backward, anticipating Arsenal's press. Playing against Arsenal has always been one of my favorite things, not to mention the fact it was my favorite club as a child. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't still my favorite.

Caitlin Foord starts running forward, getting behind Kerstin, and I mark her due to Kerstin being higher up, trying to find my moment to poke the ball away and boot it up field.

As I'm about to do so, Steph Catley appears out of thin air, and Foord passes the ball to her without even a glance. Causing me to miss my chance to poke the ball away, and as I turn back to try and get back to where Steph is, I don't even need to look on goal to see if it went in. The roar of the crowd was enough.

I put my head down and my hands on my knees as Arsenal celebrated. This wasn't the way any of us wanted the match to start, but we had to make the most of it. I needed to be better and not let them get in behind us.

Alex comes over and gives me a sympathetic look. I knew what was coming, and I internally rolled my eyes. I know it's out of the kindness of her heart, but I'd rather be hard on myself. It gets me to put more effort in. Totally not degrading at all.

"It's not your fault; we're a team. Don't blame yourself for everything." I just nod; there's no use in fighting my captain. Even if it's my fault, Arsenal are up 1-0.

—

The match ends 2-1 to Arsenal; we lost, and I still blame myself for that first goal. Jill comes up to me saying, "Hey, c'mon, don't be too hard on yourself." And I give her a tight-lipped smile before responding, a look she clocks immediately and frowns at.

"I know, I know." I start walking towards the tunnel, trying not to argue about how it was my fault Arsenal won. Jill would give me a lecture about how I needed to be easier on myself, and I didn't want that right now. I almost make it to the tunnel before I hear my name being shouted.

"Oi! Tess!" I turn to see Lotte standing with Leah Williamson and Lia Walti. Lotte beckons me over, and I comply, telling Jill I'll see her later as she continues walking down the tunnel.

"I believe you promised me something, and I promised you something." Lotte grins while speaking. I'd forgotten about our prematch arrangement because of how the match went, but I'm glad Lotte had remembered.

Her energy honestly makes me feel a bit better, as her smile was infectious. We both take off our jerseys and swap them. While swapping, I feel eyes on me and catch Leah staring at me. Well, more like staring at my abs. I take a mental note of this before beginning to put Lotte's jersey on.

I turn to look at her as I put Lotte's jersey on. "Like what you see, Williamson?" She's taken by surprise and looks up, then diverts her eyes to Lia, who laughs at her. She then looks down at the ground. It was cute. I do a once over, Leah was dressed head to toe in Arsenal gear even if she was out due to injury. Her hair also fell perfectly over her shoulder, and don't get me started on the subtle fringe she had going on.

"You look good in red, Tess," Lotte grins as I turn my attention back to her. This also gains Leah's attention as she glances up towards Lotte. The little Arsenal fan inside of me was screaming at this comment, and I fought the smile that threatened to appear on my face.

"Yeah? Well, maybe that'll happen sooner than later," slipped out of my mouth before I could catch myself. When I realized it, I mentally cursed myself and hoped none of them would really say anything about it.

"Are you leaving City?" Leah asks. Thinking about my response, I debate how much I can really get away with saying. Players talk, and rumours get around; though everyone would know about my transfer sooner or later.

I turn to her and respond with, "Not sure I can disclose that information." She opens her mouth to say something but closes it and just nods. I laugh a bit before Lia speaks up, catching my attention.

"Come join Arsenal! We'd love to have another world-class defender! Right Leah?" Leah elbows Lia and blushes slightly. I think. Though I'm really not sure, it's kind of cold.

Lotte immediately agrees with Lia's statement, and that causes me to laugh. "Too bad I'm playing for City. Anyway, it was nice chatting, but I've got to go. Thanks for the jersey, Lotte."

At that I turned and began walking towards the tunnel again.

"You really do look good in red, Tess." I heard Leah call. I turned my head as I kept walking and just grin. Though I quickly turn back around in order to hide the blush that is creeping on to my face.

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hey! go read my other book tooooooooooooo (thanks bestie)