A Song For You//[Thonny]

Chapter Eight

A couple of days after the party, Thom rolls from side to side in his bed, trying desperately to fall asleep. It's not even that late, only about 11 o'clock pm, but what better does he have to do? He's crossed off his list of things to do today. Smoke weed, drink, watch tv, avoid any and all food, and shower. There really wasn't anything much of interest to him anymore anyways. Might as well just rot in bed.

Well, he would have if he could just sleep. But even that he couldn't seem to do correctly. Just fuck ups after fuck ups.

He groans and rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with his dachshund limbs sprawled out on the bed. He thinks, but all he can think about is Jonny. Fuck, why am I like this? Why can't I just get over him? Its been way too long to still like him.

After tossing and turning for about fifteen more minutes, his body pulls itself out of bed and towards the door. He doesn't think about what he's doing, but he just goes with where his feet take him. He feels so out of it for some reason. Maybe its from lack of sleep or nutrients, but either way, he doesn't have the energy to fight his own body.

Days seem to just roll by the same as the last. Nothing fun happens anymore, nothing interesting, nothing to be excited about. All he could do anymore to pass time was think about Jonny.

Jonny had been the only thing on his mind recently and no matter what he did he could never get him out. It was like he had been possessed by him to never think about anything else and it was slowly killing him. Every time he thought about Jonny he remembered how much he had fucked up their friendship, their relationship, their life.

Since the party, Thom had too much time to think about Jonnys question. What if. What if I stayed? What if I never left? What if I told him? What if I apologized for the fight and never stormed off?

Would Jonny have never destroyed himself because of it?

Would my friends still want to be my friends?

Would Jonny still love me?

It was a lot to think about, but he still couldn't come to a final answer to the question, because he felt like he was lying to himself either way. He didn't know what to do anymore and he didn't know what he was going to do the next time he was in the presence of Jonny. So when he opened the front door to see him standing outside, fist raised and ready to knock, his blood ran cold.

They froze, they stared. Thom could see the fear flash through Jonnys eyes in a split second. Thom took in Jonnys appearance for a brief moment. His hair was messy, not its normal messy, but tangled and not as kept as it always was. He had obviously rushed himself based off his clashing attire; a green sweater over a red shirt. Ah, yes, colorblind. He had his sleeves pulled down far over his hands to keep them warm in the chilly night air. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were wide like he had just run a marathon, but he was obviously eager to say something.

"Jonny? Whats are you doing here-"

"What did I say?" He asked frantically, looking down at Thom who stood dumbfounded. "The other night? At the party? Oh god, what did I say, Thom? I can't remember anything from that night. I'm trying, I can't remember. Something obviously happened though because you haven't talked to me or called me and Colin has been acting weird-" He sounded like he just escaped a mental hospital, his words so fast that to was barley comprehensible.

"Jonny, slow down!" Thom raises his voice so he can be heard over Jonnys phsycobabble, making him flinch and stop talking. "Calm down for a second and breathe. Just... come inside and sit down before you hurt yourself." he says calmly, even though his own mind is going a mile a minute and his heart feels like its going to pop out of his chest.