A Song For You//[Thonny]

Chapter Eleven

Jonny sits on the couch with his hands placed awkwardly in the middle of his thighs as he stares down at the assortment of items on the coffee table before him. His hands tremble slightly and he lets out a shaky breath, going over the items and the process they belong to.

His credit card, a straw, and of course the ziplock containing the desired substance.

He's done it before, he can do it again.

He reaches down and tears open the bag before spilling a bit onto the glass table, his heart racing just a bit faster. He closes the bag back up and jams it into his pocket before grabbing the credit card and starting to chop and grind the substance into a fine powder. He takes a few minutes to do so, to make sure it's fine enough and to make sure he really wants to do this.

He quickly forms the power into two lines and before he can second guess himself, he grabs the straw and snorts both lines. Once he's finished, he leans back on the couch once more and covers his face with his hands and waits for it to kick in.

He feels guilty. So fucking guilty.

He had quit after high school and a few years after Thoms disappearance and he had vowed to Colin and himself that he would never touch coke again, but after recent events, he needed the extra boost. He yearned for that feeling again and at the last party was when he had contacted his old dealer and gotten his hands on the stuff again. He had kept it hidden away in one of his kitchen drawers until now.

These past few days had been hard for Jonny. He had thought back on all the things that Ed said, and every time he thought about it, he thought about how Ed was right. Jonny was the one in the wrong.

He shouldn't have let Thom back so easily, and he definitely shouldn't just be brushing this off like it wasn't anything at all. Thom needed to realize how badly he fucked up without Jonny apologizing to him and pretending like everything was fine.

Eventually, the feelings of guilt start to wash away as waves of ecstasy start to cloud his mind. He lets his hands drop from his face and a smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. He peels his eyes open and sits there for a few more moments before sighing contently and reaching to grab the items he had used.

He throws the straw away and shoves his card back into his wallet before shuffling into the kitchen and returning the bag to the back of the desired drawer. He pushed the drawer shut and turned quickly, shuffling into the bathroom for a moment to look in the mirror.

Already his pupils had begun to dilate and his hands shook a little more than he did before. A strange mix of panic, anticipation, and comfort washed over him all at the same time, further confusing his racing mind. He huffed and rubbed his face before shuffling out to the living room and pacing a bit, biting his nails furiously as his mind raced more with thoughts of Thom.

He only had time to pace for a few minutes, which felt like seconds to him, before a knock came at the door and he immediately stopped, looking towards the sound and letting out a shaky breath. The simple, familiar sound struck a nerve inside him, and knowing what was to come did little to ease his anxiety and anger.

---

"Well, I agree with Ed." Phil says, his arms crossed as he sits leaned back on the couch of his cozy home. But the environment does little to ease any stress or tension in the air right now.

"Oh, come on, man! I need someone to agree with me for at least a bit of this and you're my last hope." Thom throws his hands out to the side while paces, his eyes shining with a mix of anger and annoyance. Coming to Phil and looking to him for help was proving pointless.