A Song For You//[Thonny]

Chapter Sixteen

Of course, like always, Thom backed out of the thought of going after Jonny for a while, but also per Eds request. He had made it very clear to him all the things that could go wrong, but also reminded him he had been less than a hairs length away from death just an hour before. So, he took his time to clean himself up, disinfecting any scrapes or gashes the river had inflicted.

He let out a shaky breath as he dragged a peroxide soaked cloth over his bloodied skin, watching it smear and smudge and stain before eventually coming off, leaving behind the source of the blood. He knew just by looking at some of the cuts that too was going to leave some pretty gnarly scars, especially the one that had sliced through his left eyebrow. He scowled as he looked at it in the mirror. 

My face is fucked up enough, and now this? Just my luck. 

"You're looking at that cut as if half of your face was taken off." Ed says from the doorway, looking over the shorter mans disheveled appearance.

"Might as well have." He says softly and lifts the cloth to wipe the blood from his brow.

Ed frowns at that. "Oh, come on. it's not that bad."

Those eyes dart up to him, his eyes boring holes into Eds. "It's going to scar, and half my eyebrow will be missing forever." He spits back.

Ed rolls his eyes. "So? It's going to be a badass scar if it even scars at all. You don't know it will." He says, his voice serious yet playful. "I think that should be the least of your concerns right now, though. How to you feel?" His voice softened a bit. "Need anything? Food? Water?"

"I seriously think water is the last thing I need right now, man."

Ed let out a chuckle, leaning against the doorframe as he crossed his arms, but there was still a layer of concern etched in his features. "Fair point," he admitted. "I guess you've had enough of that for one day." His eyes dropped to the ground for a moment before flicking back up to Thom. "But seriously, Thom, how are you holding up? That was... a lot."

Thom winced as he dabbed at the cut on his brow, the sting of the peroxide reminding him just how close he had come to a much worse fate. He sighed, the weight of everything settling over him again like a heavy cloak he couldn't shake off. "I don't know," he said quietly, his voice strained. "I feel like I should be dead right now, honestly. I don't know how I'm still here."

Ed's expression softened, the concern deepening in his eyes. He walked over and placed a hand on Thom's shoulder, squeezing gently. "You are still here. That's what matters."

Thom didn't respond for a moment, just stared at his reflection in the mirror. His bloodshot eyes, the gash across his brow, the weary lines on his face—it all screamed of someone who had barely escaped a disaster, and maybe he had. His mind kept circling back to that moment on the bridge, the feel of Colin's hands gripping his shirt, Jonny's shouts, the cold rush of water pulling him under.

He blinked, his throat tightening. "I don't know if I can do this anymore," he muttered, barely audible. "Everything's fucked. Jonny's a wreck, Colin's ready to kill me, and... I don't even know what the hell I'm doing anymore."

Ed frowned, his grip tightening on Thom's shoulder. "You don't have to do this alone. None of this is easy, but you've got people who care about you. We're all trying to figure this out together, even if it's a goddamn mess right now."

Thom's lips twitched, but it wasn't quite a smile. He knew Ed meant well, but the truth was that he did feel alone. Jonny's spiraling, Colin's anger, the fallout from everything—none of it was something he could just brush off. He felt trapped, stuck in a cycle of trying to fix things that seemed irreparable.

"I just... I can't help him, Ed," Thom whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "Jonny's falling apart, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to fix him."

Ed was quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Thom's face. "You can't fix him," he said softly, almost regretfully. "No one can fix someone like that but themselves. You can be there for him, but... you can't make him stop spiraling. That's something Jonny has to do on his own."

Thom winced, knowing Ed was right. He dropped his hands, letting the cloth fall into the sink with a quiet splash, and stared at his reflection again. His eyes flicked to the cut on his brow, the blood now mostly cleaned up, but the scar was inevitable. "And what if he doesn't stop? What if he can't?"

Ed's voice was soft, almost hesitant. "Then you'll have to decide how much you're willing to lose to try and save him."

Thom's throat tightened, and he swallowed hard, his eyes burning with unshed tears. He hated that Ed was right, hated that Ed always seemed to be right, but deep down, he knew the truth. He couldn't save Jonny if Jonny wasn't ready to be saved. And that realization scared him more than anything else.

After a long silence, Ed gave him a soft nudge, pulling him back to the present. "Listen, just take it one step at a time. Right now, you need to rest. You've been through enough today."

Thom nodded faintly, wiping at his eyes before turning to Ed. "Yeah... I guess you're right."

"And hey," Ed added, his voice lighter now, "about that scar? Chicks—and dudes—dig scars, man. You'll be fine."

Thom let out a small laugh despite himself, shaking his head. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

Ed flashed him one more quick smile before padding out of the bathroom, leaving Thom behind to wallow in his own thoughts. His laughter quickly faded, his gaze dropping back to the mirror. The weight of Jonny's situation pressed against his chest like a boulder, heavy and immovable. His fingers absentmindedly traced the fresh cut over his brow, but his thoughts were far from his own injuries now. Jonny's secret was out—Colin had blown the lid off everything in front of everyone, and Thom had no idea how to help.

Maybe he should talk to Colin, ask him how to help, but that would be very wise considering he wanted Thom dead.

Tomorrow, Thom told himself. Tomorrow, I'll find a way to reach him.

~~~

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Huzzah! New chapter unlocked!

I wrote this during history class which is kind of evil and problematic of me but like we weren't doing anything and I was just talking with friends the whole time anyways, so I hopped onto the good old Wattpad to grind some shit out.

This is just a silly short chapter, but the next one is big and long (THATS WHAT SHE SAID) and I'm putting that one out today as well. Enjoy, baddies.