A Song For You//[Thonny]

Chapter Twenty

The following days blurred into a cautious routine as Jonny assured Thom he was serious this time—he'd cut back, he'd be careful. Thom wanted to believe him; he held on to Jonny's promises like fragile glass, afraid to press too hard for fear they'd shatter. Every morning, Thom would wake up beside Jonny, watch him stir in the early light, and feel a surge of hope that maybe this was the beginning of something better. Jonny tried to shake off the weight he carried, even if the shadows under his eyes betrayed the struggle he was enduring.

Jonny would disappear for brief stints, claiming he needed fresh air or a quick errand. Thom told himself it was just nerves, but he'd find himself waiting for the sound of the door opening, hoping Jonny would come back as he promised. Thom's mind would drift to Colin now and then—how easy it would be to tell him, to share this burden with someone who loved Jonny just as much. But Jonny's desperate pleas to keep it a secret had felt too raw, too vulnerable to ignore, so Thom kept quiet. He found himself carefully skirting around questions and calls from Colin and even Ed and Phil, giving vague answers about how they were both doing just fine.

No matter what, Jonny never let Thom forget that Colin couldn't know about this. He would remind him every day.

"Just... keep it between us," he would say, his tone laced with anxiety. "I don't want Colin to know. I can't have him looking at me like... like I'm a lost cause."

The words hung heavily between them. Keeping it from Colin felt like a precarious balance, but for Jonny, he'd shoulder that weight.

The weeks that followed were a strange mix of hope and dread. Thom spent most days at Jonny's, offering quiet support in whatever way he could. He'd gently coax Jonny into healthier routines, making sure he ate regular meals and encouraging him to go on walks rather than vanish down alleyways when the restlessness hit. He'd try to be there in the evenings, helping Jonny wind down with old records, anything to keep him close.

But every now and then, Thom would catch the telltale signs—Jonny's sudden, jittery energy, his hands moving too fast, his eyes too bright. Thom knew better than to ask directly. He'd look away, swallowing his questions, trying to convince himself that Jonny was just having an off day.

One quiet evening, Thom brought over groceries, insisting on cooking them a meal together. Jonny was hesitant at first, muttering that he wasn't hungry, but Thom persisted, urging him into the small kitchen. They chopped vegetables side by side, Thom glancing over now and then to see Jonny's face relaxed, a faint smile tracing his lips. It felt normal, like they were finally moving toward something steady, something they could hold on to.

After they ate, Thom took Jonny's hand and led him to the couch. They sank into it, Jonny leaning into Thom's shoulder, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the back of Thom's hand. For a moment, everything felt right, like maybe they were turning a corner.

But as the days went by, Jonny's promises began to ring hollow. Thom would find him restless, agitated, disappearing into the bathroom for too long, and coming out looking more ragged than before. He'd notice Jonny's eyes were more sunken, his hands trembled more often. Thom tried to convince himself it was just the withdrawal, that Jonny was fighting through it, that the struggle was just part of the process. But one evening, Thom found himself alone in Jonny's living room, waiting for him to come back from "a quick errand." Hours passed, and the clock ticked ominously in the silence, each passing minute making Thom's stomach twist tighter.

When Jonny finally returned, his face was flushed, his movements jittery and erratic. He avoided Thom's gaze, muttering something about losing track of time. Thom felt his heart sink, but he forced himself to nod, not wanting to provoke an argument. He watched Jonny disappear into the bathroom, the door shutting with a soft click, and all Thom could do was sit there, his mind a swirl of worry and helplessness.

Later that night, Jonny stumbled into bed, curling up beside Thom, his breathing uneven, and Thom gently wrapped an arm around him, hoping his presence alone could soothe whatever torment Jonny was battling. As Jonny drifted off, Thom lay awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of Jonny's secrets pressing down on him.

Jonny woke up that morning looking bleary-eyed but determined, his gaze finding Thom's as he mumbled, "I'm going to be better today. I swear it."

Thom took a steadying breath, nodding, even as doubt prickled at the edges of his hope. He reached out, gently brushing a hand through Jonny's messy hair. "I believe you," he said, willing himself to mean it.

The days carried on like that, a delicate balancing act of hope and dread, each small victory tinged with an undercurrent of worry. And though he could feel the strain of keeping Colin in the dark, Thom held his silence, choosing to stand by Jonny even as the shadows loomed ever closer.

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Short little filler chapter about more drugs. More to come today I'm sure! I have like three in the chamber and things are boutta go crazy.