To be Loki'd - Loki x fem reader

Chapter 31 - Attempts

A.N: My goodness me, 1.2K reads already? Thank you all sooo much for each taking the time to read, vote and comment, it means the world to me. Writing this has brought me a lot of joy so thank you to all of you and let's keep going 😉. 

I rewrote this chapter about eight different ways because it was hard. 

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Days bled into weeks and soon it had been one month, two months since Loki had died. 

Since, you had left your room, eaten, showered, started training again but everything felt different. It was just like before you met him but now instead, you knew you were never going to see him again. What were a few months of stolen happiness together compared to the numerous years you'd have to endure without him? Nothing, like a grain of sand on the beach. Like a rock on a mountain. 

You were sitting cross-legged on your large bed, playing around with the ice conjured by your hands. Intricate and delicate butterflies flapped their frozen wings around you, sending ripples of cool mist with every flap. You carefully crafted each one, smiling a little as you saw it take flight from your palm to join the others in their ethereal ballet above your head. Even though sunshine beams covered your room, they did not melt. 

Knock knock

"Yes?" 

Tony walked in, well actually strutted in, before stopping, to stare in awe. 

Not at those gorgeous icy creations. 

But at the soft and serene smile on your face, finally appearing after these months. Like the ice starting to thaw after a long winter. He hadn't seen a smile on your face since he picked you up in London, despite all of his attempts. 

Attempt 1 out of 12 version 1.5  - Going to the therapist 

A tall brunette lady stood up to shake your hand before settling in the yellow armchair right opposite yours. She smiled kindly and carefully slid on her square glasses before clicking a pen for her notebook. "My name is Christie. I'm a certified therapist and I'll be here to speak to you and most importantly to help you."  

Your face remained neutral as you answered calmly, "I don't need any help." 

She tilted her head, "But uh... well, you've experienced something very difficult and maybe it would help to let it out." 

"Not to you.", you enunciated, staring right into her honey coloured eyes. 

"Why not?" 

"I don't need to justify myself." 

"Well, the entire process has to be verbal I'm afraid." 

You sighed, turning your head before going back to your icy stare, "Christina Johann, therapist. Graduated in '95 from McGill. You work as a private therapist but often loan your services to the government to survey certain individuals. Fury recommended you. Why?" 

She frowned a little, starting to click her pen repeatedly, "I'm sure it's just a coincidence." 

"The universe is never so lazy. There are thousands of therapists in America currently, so why you, why you specifically?"

"Y/n..." 

"Miss Y/l/n. That's not very professionnal of you.", you retorted patronisingly with a fake pout. 

 "I'm here to help." 

You scoffed, "Sure you are. Question is who are you here to help?". Upon her lack of answer, you stood up from the chair and left the room with an assertive,  "I think we're done here."