𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙡, 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙊𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙧

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 32: 𝒞𝓇𝓊𝑒𝓁 𝐿𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜𝓃𝓈

A.N. 
From here on out, I'm not going to put trigger warnings BECAUSE the book itself will have themes of violence, sexual assault, self harm, etc, as it is of the nature of this story. If you ever need to click off, go for it! Just a lil PSA. 

Stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.   

        Raven's bloodied knife clunks on the wooden floor, as she stares at her bloodied up inner thighs and red-stained hands. Her eyes don't release tears. She deserves this, and more. She kills people to keep her own brother safe. The pain doesn't numb her thoughts this time, and she's stuck with the reality of her broken friendship and broken moral code.  

         She doesn't know how to fix this. Maybe this is something that just can't be fixed. That idea scares her even more than the idea of Finnick's anger.   

          She deserves to be punished. She deserves unbearable consequences equal to the pain she caused Finnick, she thinks. 

.·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·. 

Finnick sits alone on the shore of the ocean, letting it crash over his feet. He picks at his nails, thinking of what he can do. He's already gone over how he understands her situation, but then the death of his friends tugs at his heart. 

        It's two weeks later when Finnick finally decides it's time to hear Raven out. He's 16, and should start acting like it, according to Mags. 

        Act like an adult? Please, she killed my friends, he bitterly thinks to himself. But the space is only making him go more insane.  

        He stands outside the door of her house, a void of emptiness in his chest. He refuses to let that void fill right now, he needs to appear as if he is cold and unaffected by Raven. She can't have any more power over him than she already has. His expression softens a bit when Robin opens the door, rather than Raven. 

        "Finnick." 

         "Robin." 

          Robin motions for Finnick to go inside. "She's upstairs." Finnick nods, muttering a thank you as he takes off his shoes and heads for the stairs. "Keep the door open," he says, making Finnick flush. 

          He turns around, shocked. "It isn't-" Robin shrugs, leaving for the living room. Finnick rolls his eyes, heading upstairs once again. When he approaches her door, he hesitates, holding his hand up in the air, deciding if he should knock or not. With a sigh, he reluctantly knocks. No response. He knocks again. "Raven," he says. Immediately, he hears scrambling inside. A thud. A drawer closing. Items being picked up off the ground. 

           The door opens, and a distraught, tired looking Raven opens the door. Finnick's concern doesn't show on his face as he enters the room. "Finnick, I-" she begins, as he welcomes himself onto her chair, leaning back in it. "I don't know- uhm." She looks down at her feet, unsure of what to say.   

          "What to say?" Finnick scoffs. "Neither do I. I don't even know why I'm here," he admits, picking at his cuticles. 

          Raven doesn't know how to fix this. She doesn't know how to be more honest with Finnick than just the truth of the matter. "I don't know how I can make this better," Raven says outright. She lets out a huffed laugh, in disbelief of her own actions. "The last few victims, I've been trying to get them to escape. I should've done that for your friends but I just got scared and killed them like a coward." She looks at Finnick, seeing if he has any reaction. He continues staring down at his hands. "I can't make this better because I did a terrible thing and I did it without thinking of people outside of my family." She hesitantly goes closer to Finnick, prompting him to look up at her. "Tell me if I can fix this," she helplessly pleads.   

         Finnick's face rests in an uncomfortable expression. He sits straighter, brushing the cuffs of his shirt. He doesn't say anything, avoiding Raven's eyes. "I don't know," he states. "Screw it," he stands up, heading for the door. 

         "Wait!" Raven yells, grabbing for his sleeve, pulling him back. "I don't even know what I'm doing, I just- if you leave right now I can't imagine how you'll wreck yourself," Raven almost cries out. "Please, just stay." Finnick's expression remains stone hard, his eyes anywhere but on her. "Say something, anything! Yell at me, just anything-" 

           His eyes snap to Raven. "You want me to say something?" His shoulders broaden, as he talks a step closer to Raven . "You fucked up," he says in such a foreign tone, it's almost laughable. "You killed two people who you didn't even know, and the memory of that day on the beach with you will forever be tainted. I trusted you with things I didn't dare utter to Mags or those friends you killed, and then I find out you betray it all. I tell you about being used as a sex toy by the Capitol and then you don't tell me about all of this and I'm left thinking I messed up," his cheeks redden. His chest heaves as he lets it all out. 

            "And yet, at the same time, I struggle to be angry. I'm so conflicted over how to feel. I want to ruin you for killing them, and at the same time, I want to be there for you, and let you know that I'm here for you even when Snow is making your life hell." All the hints of fury exit him, as he stumbles backward, sliding down against the door. "This should be a cruel lesson, teaching me never to hand a single thing to anyone. Instead, I know I can't just let you go, and I despise myself for not hating you."  

           Raven's mouth is agape, a tear slips out of her eye, and she's sniffling. "You should hate me," she finally breaks, falling to the ground. "I hate myself," she cries, looking down at the ground. "I don't know how to say how sorry I am. I'm just so sorry Finnick," her shoulders tremble, as she stares at Finnick's eyes slowly becoming glossy, his cheeks flushed. 

           His eyes begin spilling tears, as everything comes to him at once. The smiles of his friends, his moments with Raven, his trust in his friends, his care for Raven. How could he not hate Raven yet feel such anger in his core. "I understand why you did it," he chokes out, wiping his tears with his sleeve. He forces himself to take controlled, deep breaths. "I don't hate you. I want us to stay close, but it will require transparency, and time. How do I know you won't kill someone I love again? How can I trust you around Mags? Things will be different for a while." 

          "I know," Raven murmurs softly. "I care about you Finnick, I really do," she says. "I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I don't know how much longer I can handle being the cause of your pain."  

           Finnick shakes his head. "Don't... Don't say that. You're going to fix this. You're going to stop whatever it is you're being forced to do. I don't know how, but you will. And only then, will this be solved. Avenge their deaths by preventing others," Finnick says, his eyes squinted and narrowed in on Raven. Raven nods, her tears finally slowing down. "Come here," he softly says, holding his arms out for Raven. 

            Raven rushes into his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Thank you," her voice shakily says, laying her head on his shoulder. "This will be made right," she swears, knowing how much she means it. "I will make them pay." 

A.N. 

GUESS WHO GOT A'S ON ALL HER FINALS!!!!!! 

Hope u enjoyed this chapter! Updates should be more often now that school is out!  

TY FOR 61K READS  

Imma make the ages a bit clearer cause I did the "math" in my head and Raven should be like 14 and Finnick just turned 16. (unless I did smtg wrong cause i just did it rly quick in my head. Her bday is around the victor's tour, so she turned 13 during her tour and 14 after the 2nd one. Idk how i missed that so sorry guys) Finnick is 16, Raven is 14 so romance is blooming but not there yet cause the maturity difference between those ages omg 🥲 

One last chapter left for this act i think. Maybe 2 or 3?  

i tried my best but it was so hard to progress from the last one! honest feedback pls