𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙡, 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙊𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙧

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 15: 𝐸𝓃𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒

The world is numb to Raven Celeste. Nothing is present to her. Even as her entire mind shatters and her being collapses, life around her continues to move and stop at nothing for her. She is as unapproachable as ever, even one month after the mail from President Snow. 

        She's taken up a few talents since the games, as it is required for victors to pick up some skills to keep themselves interesting to the Capitol citizens. For her, that entailed continuing her talents with throwing knives, practicing with an ax and bow and arrows, and poetry. It's about a day before her birthday, but she has nothing to celebrate for being alive another year. Raven desperately hopes this birthday is her last. 

        Robin, while he is devastated- is even more concerned for his sister. All his pleas have done nothing to drive her out of her room, and she stays in her little hole of misery and guilt. It's one day where she is tugging at a piece of yarn sticking out of her sweater that she hears a knock on her locked door. "I'm not hungry, Robin," Raven yells out for what seems to be the third time this morning. Truth is, she simply doesn't have an appetite, despite only having two apples and water for the last two days. 

        "Open the damn door," an angry voice yells out in response. Raven doesn't want to find out what will happen if she doesn't open it, so she reluctantly goes up and clicks open the lock. Opal barges in, her eyes looking around the room as her eyes squint in disappointment. "Well you sure have been taking care of yourself," Opal sarcastically remarks. Raven rolls her eyes. 

        "You're one to talk," she scoffs. "You sure have been taking great care of yourself: Drowning yourself in morphling and sarcasm." 

        Opal raises an eyebrow, not even slightly offended. "There's my feisty victor," she jokingly says in a mock happy tone. She forces a glass of water in Raven's hand as well as a plate holding a sandwich. She then plops down on the bed that hasn't been made for the last month. "Eat," she instructs. 

        "I'm not hungry," Raven mutters. 

        "Don't give me that. I'm staying here until that's finished," she monotonously states, plopping down on the bed. "The Capitol won't appreciate a sick looking victor." 

        Once again, it's all for the Capitol.  

.·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·.

The only reason Raven hasn't completely fallen apart is because of the thwacking sound of knives hitting wood. Her hand releases another round of knives that all hit the tree trunk exactly where she wants them to. She hums in satisfaction, approaching the tree and pulling them all out. 

        The victory tour is in one month, and she has to attempt to gain all the weight she's lost from after the games. She moves on from the knives and to the bow and arrow. She settles one into place, preparing to shoot it. Just as her fingers release it and hit the wood, her eyes see it hitting Ronan's skull instead. She screeches, chasing off the ravens that are settled in the trees. She breathes heavily and loudly. As she brings her knees to her chest, she's glad there is no one around her and she is in an empty part of District 6.  

        She meets his mom twice every week for tea and for a check in. His mom is as sweet as her little boy: Gentle, caring, and smart. Stella never blames Raven for the death of her son, and instead thanks her continuously for giving him a merciful death.   

        Just as her breathing has calmed down, she hears crunching leaves behind her and screams, grabbing one of the knives closest to her. She groans in frustration when it's Opal. "You gonna throw that in my chest, darling?" Raven ignores the association to her games and settles the knife down. "Did you eat?" 

        Raven rolls her eyes and mumbles, "Yes." 

        Opal nods in satisfaction, patting her back. "Get back home. It'll be dark soon."  

        When Raven arrives home, the incoming panic attack is ensuing again. She knows from experience that having more than one in a day means they will not stop coming. Once something triggers a memory, they keep coming until she does something to stop it.  

        Raven begins having labored breathing, holding a hand to her chest, wanting to squeeze away the pain. She silently screams internally, banging her head against the wall to get the pain to stop. After a few moments, the pain finally subdues and she gives her head a rest. She holds up a hand to it, wincing at the bruising that is sure to be there. Luckily, it's covered by her hair. 

        Robin is out right now, likely with the next girl he has found to sleep with to numb his pain. Raven has no right to judge him on his coping mechanisms: After-all she caused his pain.  

        She is yet to open the unlimited amount of letters from the Capitol from months ago, wishing her a happy 13th birthday. Having nothing else to do, she picks up the first letter from the top, seeing that it's from Finnick Odair. She scoffs, remembering the shenanigans and odd stuff he said to her during her time in the Capitol. How the hell did he see himself in me? 

        Raven opens the letter, reading its contents. It's nothing special, but it's the only one she keeps, burning the rest of the letters from the Capitol citizens. The letter sounds very unsure and innocent in a way that it's so random. 

Happy Birthday, Raven. 

Hope it isn't ruined I suppose... I guess I hope you spend it with your brother??? 

You seemed to like the ocean in the arena, so hopefully you'll enjoy district 4 when you come for the victory tour. 

Sincerely, 

Finnick Odair 

        Raven almost laughs at the randomness of it. She puts it in a chest that is in her room that holds nothing, deciding it will be there if she ever needs a laugh through all the depressing moments of her life.

        After all, she's had enough for a lifetime.