"Would you like tea?" Stella asks, pouring herself a cup of the steaming, orange liquid. Raven nods, accepting some out of politeness.
She brings the steaming mug to her pale lips, color flushing in her face when the warmth rushes all over her. "It's lovely," Raven appreciates, taking a sip too quickly and burning her tongue. She doesn't mind.
"I saw the Morphling all over the TV during the Victor's tour," Stella begins. "He looked quite out of it," she chuckles heartily, delicately sipping more tea.
Raven smiles nervously, continuously taking sips, no, gulps of tea so she can remain silent. "Well, he was," Raven admits.
The tingling sensation on her tongue is slowly dissipating, so she accepts more tea from Stella to bring it back. "Do you think I could take some for Opal?"
.·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·.
Raven throws the thermos at Opal's frail hands. She is high on morphling and alcohol. An awful combination.
"The fuck is this going to do," she groans, her arms shaking as she forces herself to sit.
Raven shrugs. "It's just tea." She flops down next to Opal and her IV of morphling. "And it'll help you feel more sane," she exaggerates the last sentence.
She opens her mouth, but scoffs instead, forgetting the words in the back of her throat. Instead of accepting the tea from Raven, she grabs the cup of alcohol from the table in front of her and gulps down the last of it. Opal groans as it burns down her throat, and she reaches for more.
Raven plucks it out of her hands and simultaneously swats off Opal's flaying hands. "I'm pouring you alcohol, idiot."
"How generous of you," Opal rolls her eyes. She accepts the cup without realizing the alcohol is really tea. However, Opal is so out of it that she doesn't notice. Her head begins drooping, and Raven waits for her to inevitably doze off. Raven slowly stands up, careful not to wake Opal as she plucks the IV from the crook of her arm.
She washes the gaping hole in Opal's arm with water and places a bandaid over it. Opal was feeling pretty shitty recently, and Raven can only guess why.
She'd be lying if she said she never once considered using morphling. But Opal turned her down every time she would ask for a little, saying it's stupid, dangerous, and 'not your fucking thing.'
Perhaps she can try alcohol someday? Though she's sure Opal would find out and scream her head off.
Maybe I'll persuade Star or Finnick some day...
Raven's mind lands on Finnick again, once his name echos through her. A smile plays on the edge of her lips. She imagines the sea green of his eyes. The natural pink of his cheeks. The golden tan of his skin. The warmth of his hugs. The sweetness of his words.
Then the smile disappears.
How can she be so stupid? He's Finnick Odair! The Golden Boy of the Capitol with the Raven of the Capitol? Pathetic to even think it is a plausible thought. He can do so much better. He can be with a girl far prettier. Far more sane. Far more worthy of him.
If she truly does have the feelings she thinks she has for Finnick, she won't allow herself to harbor such feelings for him. Maybe she'll find some good girl for him. A girl that isn't her.
Goosebumps form on her arm. A shiver through her spine.
God, I don't want that.
Finnick understands her. He feels her. He knows her. Raven can spill out all the nonsense in her head and never be afraid of judgement or betrayal from Finnick.
Tears sting her eyes. Why can't she be good enough for Finnick? Why isn't she good enough for anyone? Is that why they all leave?
Her mind goes in millions of circles. She thinks of all the actions she's made in the games, the victor's tour, the murders, conversations with her brother and Opal. Why haven't any of them stayed?
Why is her mom dead? Because of her.
Why is Opal still depressed? Because of her.
Why is Robin dead? Because of her.
Why is Finnick not happy? Because of her.
She attempts to reason with herself. Her mom was likely better off dead than an avox anyways... right? Opal no longer has to mentor tributes. She can drown in drugs all day. Robin... well that was all her fault. And Finnick did just say he loves her.
As a friend, she thinks, sighing.
Raven thinks she's being selfish. She's here imagining his lips and he's imagining their friendship and how much it's benefited the both of them. The love they have for each other is palpable. The care and respect is obvious.
Rather than thinking of her own desires, shouldn't she be thinking about Finnick's need for support from their friendship? Shouldn't she be grateful for the platonic love and respect? The Golden Boy may not be hers, but he's her best friend.
But she isn't ok with that. She doesn't know how or when she realized, but she wants Finnick to be hers to love. Hers to take care of and comfort in hard times. Forming a connection friends can never have.
Raven appreciates their friendship for what it is. Support. Love. Care. Appreciation. Respect. Understanding.
She doesn't appreciate the aspects that are missing.
A romantic connection. The connection of hearts in an unspeakable way. Kisses.
But alas: The Golden Boy can only be a friend.
A/N:
Thank you for 75K reads!
I'm kinda unsure abt this chapter, so I'd appreciate ur thoughts 😭
Sorry for the shorter chapter. The next one is longer :)
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𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙡, 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙊𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙧
Fanfic"Raven Celeste: Better known as the Raven of the Capitol. Youngest victor ever. Think of her as an actual Raven: Intelligent, clever, and resourceful. Add that to her weaponry skills and charm and she's pretty fatal. You want to get out of that aren...
