𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙡, 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙊𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙧

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 36: 𝐻𝒾𝓈 𝐻𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈, 𝑀𝓎 𝐻𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈?

A/N: Hey guys! Just wanted to mention that in the books, the age of consent in Panem is 16 but I made it 15 in this to emphasize the cruelty more

What's the difference between sleeping with a person from the Districts and someone from the Capitol? 

       The district people don't dehumanize you.

        It's hard to believe she's 15 now. The Morphling is living up to his name in more ways than one. The moment the Victor's Tour ended, he began drowning himself in morphling that he buys from the nurses of District 6. It's his therapy. It's his personality. It's his being. 

        Can she call the Morphling her friend? Hardly. A nonjudgemental listener is a better word. Perhaps he is the most judgemental person ever, yet Raven would never know considering how knocked out he is all the time. 

        "And I just think... I should've just killed them all! Or maybe I shouldn't have killed even the first two. I was going to slip up eventually and Robin was going to die. Snow would've found other ways to kill them regardless if I refused." Raven groans, sounding bored at her own voice. There is no emotion trailing her voice as she continues spewing out everything. 

        Star gives a small grunt of acknowledgment, continuing to doze off. 

        "And then Finnick," she sighs, carefree. "God, he lights up the whole room. I swear, his golden hair is its own sun." She clearly has no idea what she's saying. Even Star raises an eyebrow in confusion.  

        Raven brings her face close to Star's. "Morphling," she begins, waiting for his eyes to open. They do. Very... very.... very slowly. "I'm thinking maybe my brother had the right idea, you know? Having sex with all those girls so all he could think about were the sensations on his skin and when he could get his next high. I suppose it's like you! Minus the dozing off and addiction." 

        Is sex addiction a thing? she ponders momentarily. 

        "He never had his first kiss, yet he's bed many girls," Raven continues thinking aloud. She turns her face to Raven. "Have you ever been kissed? Or more..." 

       Star groans, sitting up. "A couple times. You know, just some girls from school. Why are we talking about this, anyways?" 

       Raven rolls her eyes. "See, Star... The best thing about you is that you don't respond to what nonsense I say. Maybe keep it that way," she smiles bitterly. "We should try it," Raven shockingly says, all shame leaving her body. 

       Some life finally enters Star's eyes, as he sits up straight, horror all over his face. 

       Raven bursts out laughing. "I'm kidding! Geez. I'd do that with someone around my age. I should try it out. His habits could become mine. I wonder who the first person I kiss will be." 

       "Finnick," he mutters under his breath, going back under. 

        Raven doesn't hear a word of what he said, but he's already knocked out before she can ask. She lays back, arms supporting her head. If she's going to be a sex toy for the Capitol, she wants to know what it feels like. The idea of going into it not knowing what it will be like at all scares her. 

        Turns out, it isn't that difficult to find a boy willing to sleep with a victor. It was some 16 year old boy who she knew from history in 8th grade. She's rushing to feel something, anything. Her chest has been immobile for too long, her mind too silent. Her body too still.

        It feels- so wrong. He never does anything she doesn't consent to, yet too many things are missing and feel off. There's no distraction, no thrill, no intimacy. She doesn't feel...anything.  She was looking for a wave of emotions to go through her, something to fill the emptiness that she doesn't understand. Yet, her heart is as still as a pond, her mind as quiet as night. It doesn't make her feel what she hoped.