wilder days

2. forever and always

this thing is breaking down

we almost never speak

i don't feel welcome anymore

baby what happened? please tell me

'cause one second it was perfect

now you're halfway out the door

--

After two more days of tryouts and another two days of the absolute drag called school, the team was picked and practicing the very next day. The best part of all of it was the fact that I got selected as the junior captain. I felt bad for the others but Raegan told me they all knew I deserved it.

Cash was pissed that I blew him off the other day. He's tried to hang out, but these last few days have been a lot. Being a junior captain means I have to put in just as much work as the senior captains. It's a decent amount of extra time as we have to talk to our coaches about what we see on the field during practice, what we feel the team needs as a whole, and who we believe to be starting caliber.

After Thursday's practice, we sat in the locker room and each constructed what we believed to be our best starting eleven after just four days. The seniors all had similar lineups, and explained their reasoning on the players others didn't have in their lineup.

"How about you, Sam?" Sophia asked me finally. I looked down at my paper. There was a starting lineup drawn, but on the back I had written our bench and who they'd sub for. In the margins of my paper were small patterns because they'd gone for so long without acknowledging me.

I got up and walked over to the whiteboard, flipped it to the empty side, drew half of a pitch, and then wrote out my names as I talked, making sure to explain why I picked each player.

"Hannah is a no-brainer as our goalkeeper, we can all agree on that, as well as our center backs being Sophia and Morgan. With both of our fullbacks leaving last year, we need full replacements. I'm not huge on some of the JV girls from last season, so I say give the sophomores a chance. Put Tatumn on the right, and since she's a lefty, let the sophomore Shannon play on the left. If we run a double pivot, Lexi and the sophomore Kiera, can hold it down well. If not, Lexi you can play some box to box. Skye, you'll be the creative attacking midfielder so we can put me on the right and Raegan on the left, leaving this forward position to..."

I trailed off as I scratched the back of my neck. I knew they weren't going to agree with this pick of mine but I was planning on saying it anyway. I think there's one girl on the team that can finish consistently enough to play striker. Some of the girls on JV last year can be flashy with their shots, but I don't want that. I need someone who is going to finish and can guarantee us a goal, like our former strikers.

"I think we give Ellie a shot up top." I write her name at the top of the half circle and flipped my paper over to rationalize my subs.

"The freshman?" Skye asked.

"The freshman." I repeated back to her. "She's the only one who finishes consistently enough. Zoe, Lani, Nyla...they can play and they can finish, but not nearly as well as Ellie can. They're way more flashy, which in theory, is more attractive for us as players, but not only is Ellie consistent with her finishing, but her run calculation and timing are both perfect. We have to direct the others and tell them where to be and what runs to make. We need players that can figure that out on their own."

"I agree with you." Lexi nodded, looking down at her paper. "I am actually completely on board with you."

"And we know Elrod doesn't mind playing the new girls if she's got trust in them. If she doesn't have trust in Ellie, your explanation should make her rethink that." Said Sophia.