wilder days

16. that's when

you said, "I know" when I said, "I need some time, need some space

to think about all of this"

you watched me go and I knew my words were hard to hear

and harder to ever take back

and I said, "when can I come back?"

and you said, that's when, when I wake up in the mornin'

that's when, when it's sunny or stormin'

laughin' when I'm cryin'

---

The rest of my week was filled with anything but normal. Justine and I didn't talk, my dad was often working or with Carrie, Ali was back at school, so most of the time it was just Kasey and I. I was slacking on my work, feeling too drained after soccer to get much of it done. My grades were starting to suffer, but I knew I'd be able to bring them back up. 

On Wednesday, we played a smaller school that had us projected to win 6-0. I started the game, quickly grabbing myself two goals and an assist, though my body was still recovering from whatever I went through over the weekend. I sat the entire second half of the game with most of the starters. Not even Hannah played more than the first half. 

After I scored and we won our game 2-0 on Friday, the tape on my cleats started to rip off. I finally got my paycheck and cashed it immediately so I could go buy myself a new pair. I brought Kasey with me, and she ended up making the final call on the pair I should get; a pair of pink Nike's. At first glance they weren't my first choice, but with more thought, I decided if Kasey liked them, I could too. 

Instead of going to the football game this Friday, Morgan invited a few of us over for a movie night hangout and a sleepover. She ordered pizza and had snacks, so once I knew my dad was home, I left Kasey with him and went to Morgan's. 

I picked up Tatumn on the way and we were the first ones there. Like almost everyone else in this town, Morgan lived in a big house, and her parents weren't around much. She has a freshman brother who is often with his friends and a much older sister who graduated college two years ago and is set to get married in the winter time. 

"Why don't you go grab something to eat? Food's in the kitchen." Morgan smiled once we had put our stuff down in the living room. "We've gotta fatten you up, Sam. Your clothes are gigantic and you're getting pushed off the ball like crazy." She patted my stomach, referring to the noticeable amount of weight I had dropped over the past week.  

"I know. I had to do an extra roll on my shorts for the games this week." I laughed and we all went to the kitchen. I grabbed two slices of pizza and a handful of chips. Morgan grabbed us some sodas and we went back to the living room, scrolling through movies as we waited for the rest of the girls to arrive. 

Shannon and Kiera arrived, then Soph and Lexi, and finally the twins, who got there late because Raegan 'couldn't find her favorite sleepover sweatshirt.' 

Sophia and Hannah sat on either side of me, Lexi taking the other side of Soph. Morgan patted the spot next to her for Shannon, and Kiera and Raegan made a small fort out of pillows and blankets on the floor. 

We watched Legally Blonde, and after Raegan quoted the first five minutes woprd for word, Hannah took it upon herself to shut her sister up. The harsh yell was only enough to stop her from quoting the movie, it didn't mean she wasn't throwing popcorn at all of us and non-stop yapping. 

"Morgan, where's your bathroom?" Sophia stood up and stretched. 

"Sam, you show her." Morgan was leaning over Shannon's shoulder, eyes glued to her phone screen. She had a playful smile on her face and she didn't even bother to look up at the senior.