wilder days

15. monster

you always lie to me, then you lie down with me

you won't leave, and you're so unhealthy

you break me, messin' with my head

it feels like a bad dream

and i wonder why I can't sleep

when you're here 'cause I know the monster

he ain't under the bed

'cause he's in it with me

---

I woke up with my head at the foot of a bed, a pounding headache forming the second the light hit my eyes. I groaned and went to turn over, but I was trapped by a pair of arms. I wanted to know where I was, but if I opened my eyes I would have thrown up. 

The arms around me were all too familiar. It took one breath for me to  recognize the familiar floral-scented perfume which lead me to let out another groan. Why the hell do I keep doing this?

"Shut the fuck up, Samantha." Sophia mumbled into my hair so low I could hardly understand her. 

"Sophia where the hell are we?" I asked, still trying to push myself up but still being held down. 

"In a bed, now shut the fuck up." She turned her head the other way. 

"Sophia, I don't know where we are." I pushed myself up and finally was able to open my eyes more than a crack. 

"First of all, Samantha, get your hand off my boob, and second of all, we were at Jonah's for a party, so that's probably where we are right now. Now calm down." 

I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed for a few seconds. My relaxation was ended by the realization that I didn't remember being at Jonah's. As I laid there, short, fuzzy memories filled my head. I fully remember what happened at Via's but anything after that was a blur. I saw flash's of people's faces; Hannah running up to me, Raegan dancing, Jonah mixing me a drink, Sophia leaning in for a kiss, Skye's smug smile. 

I was shocked that Skye was a thought in my mind. I wanted to ask Sophia if she knew why, but the sound of her light snoring made me use my better judgement. Her arms had loosened around me so I took the opportunity to slip away and locate my phone. 

I found it on the nightstand up towards the headboard, Sophia's right next to mine. I had about a million texts from Justine, most in all caps. 

I remained confused about the events of last night as I scrolled through her messages. She texted me from 12:45 until 3:00 in the morning, then started again at 8:30. It's currently 10:00. I read my responses back, which made absolutely no sense. 

you cant just call me as drunk as you were and expect me not to be worried
sam please text me when you wake up
im just looking out for you
im sorry for what i said yesterday
it was shitty and you didnt deserve that
we're all going through shit right now
i love you so much
please forgive me
and text me when you see these
please sam

I gave her a simple response and then sat back against the bed frame while I read through my other messages. At one point, Raegan, Hannah and Tatumn came in looking concerned, but when they saw me sitting on the bed a wave of relief spread across all of their faces. 

"We thought you were dead!" Said Raegan loudly, ignoring the sleeping Sophia and wrapping me into a hug. My expression was full of confusion so Hannah took it upon herself to explain. 

"You blacked out." She told me. "You couldn't control yourself. You threw up for practically an hour straight. We almost took you to the hospital, dude." 

"A lot happened yesterday, Sam. I think you need to relax a little bit." Raegan said, still holding onto me. "You need to drink water and eat something." 

"I can get you a Gatorade." Suggested Tatumn before walking out of the room. 

"And we've gotta talk through whatever this is." My best friend motioned her hand between Sophia and I. "Because I know you're struggling with feelings. I'm no idiot."