Chapter 3

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Laurem is stupid to think she can fall in love with someone else when her soulmate is right there, watching her with dangerous eyes.

Still, she tries.

A college party full of people high on ecstasy tablets and/or tripping LSD isn't the best place to find love but Lauren is desperate at this point. Not that she thinks she'll find lasting love, but. She'll take a night of messy, fauxly anonymous sex over the alternative: hiding alone in her room thinking about what she wants and hates at the same time. She wants her, hates her, and hates that she wants her.

She hates that Cabello wants her too, wants her back just as bad. Hates that Cabello has probably had thoughts about her, has probably imagined taking her to bed and fucking her hard, has probably imagined Lauren begging for it and thanking her when she's done and telling her I love you more than anything, as if Cabello needs someone else to tell her that. She has the whole university wrapped around her little finger, everyone she meets falling at her feet either because of her money or her beauty or her stupidly alluring charisma.

Lauren doesn't want Cabello to think she has any sort of claim over her even though she totally does. She doesn't want Cabello to follow her out at night to all-campus parties, get a drink at the makeshift bar and just watch over her as Lauren flits through the crowd, desperate to find someone to pull her to the bathroom or any unlocked room for a little privacy and help her forget everything for a while. Desperate to find someone who won't care that she's already soulmatched. She doesn't want Cabello to have that angry, hurt, resigned look to her eyes every time Lauren finds someone and kisses them in front of everyone to the sound of trance music with heavy base and undulating lights that make the world feel a lot less real.

She doesn't want to glance back on a whim and catch sight of Cabello leaning against the wall, red cup in hand, watching over her like she's protecting her. Like she's waiting for Lauren's rebellious phase to end so she can come crawling back to her and they'll live happily ever after in soulmate heaven. She doesn't want to find herself in bed with a cocky, selfish bastard even if she so happens to be the one person on earth who's made for her.

She doesn't want Camila Cabello, no matter how badly her soul aches just to be closer to its other half.

All Lauren wants is a choice.

It's the one thing she doesn't have.

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