Love Me, Please (Camren)

Chapter 16

The pledge who's been given night duty minding the door eyes her wearily.

Lauren's mind is a mess but she has to get to her soulmate. She has to make sure she's okay. "I need to see Cabello."

"Who?"

"Camila," Lauren bites.

"And who are you?"

"An acquaintance.”

"Sorry, no can do." She shuts the door.

Well, almost shuts it. Lauren stops it with her hand first, fingers spread as wide as they will go, pressing hard against the old wood. She grits her teeth, about two seconds away from forgoing formalities and just barging inside by use of force. Excessive force. Any force. "I'm her soulmate.”

There's a heavy pause where the pledge tips her chin in curiosity. Meanwhile, Lauren jitters impatiently, calculating the best way to shove inside. "Really?" she asks, interested, like she's heard a lot about Lauren and is now curious to see the kind of person she really is. "I need to see your mark to let you in.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and yanks the sleeve of her sweater up hastily, feeling stupid. She's never shown it to anyone, not even her mother. The feeling of unfamiliar eyes on a part of her so humiliating and personal makes her skin crawl. "Will you let me in, then?"
"That's an interesting mark," the pledge muses, partly casual but mostly inquisitorial, as if she feels entitled to such conversation. Slow and relaxed like she has all the time in the world to investigate and discuss, when Lauren is standing right there demanding to be let in immediately because it's a god damn emergency. "Usually they're not that big, right? Does it bother you?"

The glare Lauren levels her with is enough to get her to open the door and let her in. Lauren practically runs up the stairs and down the hall. Not knowing which room is Camila's is difficult but when she listens closely she can hear someone crying on the other side of the last door on the left. Lauren would bet her life that that's her soulmate. The door is unlocked and she pushes inside, closing it behind her without even thinking.

The room is dark aside from the fairy lights above the messy bed. It's such a girly thing, it almost makes Lauren pause. Her soulmate is standing in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. One arm is wrapped around her stomach like she's huggin herself and the other is covering her ear. Tears are streaming down her face and her skin is splotchy and red. She's breathing heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and shifting back and forth on her feet.

Lauren's mouth drops open at the sight of her. "C-Camila?"

She whirls around at the sound of Lauren's voice. "Lo?"

“What's wrong?"

Lauren has never seen her like this before. Never seen her cry, never seen her completely break down. She's confused, and wonders what happened to set her off like this, and why there's an ache in her heart like she's feeling the exact same thing.

She surprises her by stumbling across the room and crumbling into Lauren's arms. Lauren has no choice but to catch her and wrap her arms around her to hold her up.

She thinks that maybe Camila's having a panic attack.

"I'm sorry," she sobs, sniffling into Lauren's neck and getting tears and snot and spit everywhere. Lauren hardly cares or even notices. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"What for, babe?" She asks softly, rubbing her back. Supporting all of her weight is getting tiresome so she begins to slowly walk them to the bed. Her hands are shaking and she feels sick to the stomach because something is wrong and she doesn't know what.

"I just- I don't know what's happening, but it just- All of a sudden everything felt like... I don't know what-" she hiccups, "I don't know what I did wrong, but I- I'm so sorry- I'm so sad- I just want you to love me. W-what's happening?"

"You're having a panic attack," Lauren answers quietly, feeling a lot less sure than she sounds. "Do you have them often?"

"It's never- Never happened before-"

"Alright, it's okay. We'll get you to calm down, and everything will be okay. Just hang on. We'll get through this."

She gets Camila to sit down on the bed and sits down beside her, keeping her arm around her shoulder. Camila reaches out and fumbles around, searching for something. It isn't until her hand finds Lauren's that she understands. She interlaces their fingers and holds her hand tightly, both of them shaking too much for it to be healthy.

Lauren holds her until she falls asleep, still crying.