Love Me, Please (Camren)

Chapter 37

They end up reviewing together for three hours. Lauren has Camila read to her and then translate it afterwards. The library is still and quiet and mostly empty again, and it feels like they're in their own little world as Lauren leans into Camila's side and listens to her read and analyze French literature.

Camila has her arm around her and it feels both protective and comforting. These are feelings Lauren has never felt before from a potential romantic partner, and she finds she likes it a lot. Her heart finally feels settled after months of exhaustion and wanting, and though she still feels slightly nervous around Camila, it's only a matter of time before they can coexist completely comfortably and peacefully.

When they finish up, Camila closes the book and gathers Lauren up, bringing her even closer to her side. Lauren goes along with it, curling up against Camila as much as she can in the chair.

"Your mark is beautiful,” Camila whispers lowly, eyeing Lauren's exposed arm. She wore a sweater all day but ended up taking it off when they were at the restaurant because she wanted to show Camila what she meant when she said sometimes it feels like a death sentence. "I know it's not as private as you'd want it to be, but it's absolutely gorgeous on you. It would be gorgeous anywhere on you."

If Camila told her that before, on literally any other day, Lauren would've punched her in the face. But now that she knows it's sincere, now that she knows Camila actually cares about her and wants to make an effort to make this work, not just for sex or whatever the hell else but for an actual lifelong relationship, it feels different. Lauren's mouth feels dry when she responds a quiet, "Thank you.”

"I've never shown you mine. Have you seen it?"

Lauren shakes her head no.

Camila reaches up to her ear and combs her hair away with her fingers, holding it back and leaning down so Lauren can see.

And there it is. Lauren doubted its existence for so long, it feels strange to finally see it now. She reaches up with trembling fingers and lightly touches each letter, written in familiar messy scrawl.

Lauren.

Camila closes her eyes at Lauren's ministrations, humming quietly at the feeling.

"It's real," Lauren whispers, because for some reason she thought it possible for Camila to not have a mark, for this whole thing to be one-sided. Now her heart is swelling, full enough with warmth and comfort that it feels like it might burst, or at least blow up like a balloon and carry her away. She traces the letters again with her fingers.

"I'm sorry I kissed you without asking," Camila blurts suddenly, eyes still closed.

"Yeah?" Lauren asks, thinking about that night and the crowded room full of college students and the way it felt like the world was falling apart in a good way. She wonders if Camila's lips would feel just as soft as they did that night. If they would taste just as sweet.

"Yeah," Camila mumbles, confirming. "I regret that so much. I just- I dunno..."

Lauren stills. "Kissing me, you mean?"

"No! No," she rushes, eyes flashing open and turning her gaze to look at Lauren imploringly. "No, I don't regret doing it, I only wish I had asked first."

Fingers still curled around Camila's ear, tracing the letters of her own name, Lauren nods. "What d'you say we start over, then?"

A flicker of confusion passes over Camila's face for a brief, fleeting moment. Lauren watches on as recognition and realization take over, and she whispers a quiet, "Oh." And then, with an adorably hesitants "Are you sure?"

Lauren nods again, leaning into Camila's side, closer now so they're sharing the same breath.

Camila smiles and breathes out a relieved laugh, letting her hands roam a little before finally setting them gently on Lauren's waist, touching her reverently like she doesn't want to let go but she's afraid of gripping too hard. It feels as though her hands belong there, on the curve of Lauren's waist.

Lauren reaches up and loops her arms around Camila's neck, playing with the little curls at her nape and getting lost in the feeling of having her other half so close to her, for the first time ever. Not just physically, but emotionally too.

Camila's still smiling at her and it feels right. She leans in ever so slightly, eyeing Lauren's lips.

"What do you say we begin again, Lauren Jauregui?"

Beyond words, she nods, and meets Camila halfway.

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*-The End-*