Love Me, Please (Camren)

Chapter 12

They kept running into each other. Sometimes Camila made it happen on purpose but a lot of times she didn't even mean to do it. It felt like the universe was desperate to get them together.

Camila could relate.

They would see each other in the dining hall, the library, and random study places around campus. Camila always stopped to say hi but Lauren would never give her the time of day. Camila tried to be blase about it, pretending not to care, pretending to be confident. They only talked about it once when Camila finally cornered her and gave her no place to run, demanding an answer.

It was at a party. Camila's frat's party. Why was Lauren even there, if she was avoiding Camila so badly? It made no sense. Camila set her drink down on the countertop and rushed towards Lauren immediately upon seeing her. Her back was towards her but still the sight of her took Camila's breath away.

She was wearing skinny jeans and an oversized sweater with long sleeves so it fully covered her arms. Camila hadn't seen it yet but it was a good guess that her mark was there, somewhere. She found herself fantasizing about what it looked like, imagining her name on Lauren's skin. She pulled herself out of the dangerous thought process, instead focusin on her body, her thick thighs looking great in her jeans, the way the curve of her waist was visible even through the baggy sweater, how she let the sleeves fall down to cover her hands. She looked so beautiful and so out of place.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Camila set her hand on Lauren's shoulder and turned her around, pressing her against the wall. Her movements were gentle and soft, careful not to hurt her or upset her. Making sure Lauren could escape if she wanted to, even though she didn't want to see her go.

She dropped her grasp from Lauren's shoulders but set one hand on the wall beside her head.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, aiming for easy confidence. The term of endearment was purposeful and honest but it sounded sleazy when she said it, and she immediately regretted it. The worry she had felt for days was seeping into her voice and she knew Lauren could hear it too. It made her feel vulnerable and she hated that, but she couldn't help it. "We're matched! We're- We're soulmates."

"It's a mistake,” Lauren had said, curling her arms uncomfortably up to her chest as if she was protecting herself by hiding the mark even more. She was glaring, too, probably at the nickname. "You know it doesn't always work right."

Camila couldn't believe it. Everyone had heard the stories of mismatches, of soulmates falling out of love and finding other people they wanted to be with. The stories of infidelity and greed, the gruesome ones that ended in betrayal.

Camila felt betrayed, too. She knew that was dramatic but she couldn't help it. She was so depressed over it. Her heart was aching constantly.

"You don't love me, baby?” she had asked, when Lauren had said that.

It's a mistake.

A mistake.

It hadn't felt like a mistake when they had kissed.

She didn't understand. Baby felt more real more right.

"I don't." Even though Lauren whispered, Camila could still hear her. "I don't love you. And don't call me that."

Camila was so stunned at hearing those words, she remained very still and couldn't move even if she tried. Lauren took in her silence, bit her lip, and ducked beneath Camila's arm. Camila watched her leave for the millionth time. She had her hands still curled up to her chest as if she was afraid of someone hurting her.

Or maybe it was the mark she felt, burning her skin. The feeling of love that was supposed to be there, but wasn't.

The certain emptiness that came with it all.