beautiful life • billie eilish

[47] remember december

Third pov

December 3rd

There was still no sign of Ezra waking up. The doctors said it would be normal for something like this to happen, seeing that her brain went through so much in so little time. Billie went to the hospital every day. The Olsen's had created a schedule so that somebody could always be with Ezra. They could only be in the room for a small period, ten to fifteen minutes, so Billie would be the third to last to be there, before Robert and Terrie, but so far nothing more had happened.

As Billie made her way to Ezra's room, her path intersected with Linda, the same nurse from the night Ezra had to be rushed into surgery. Linda was a sweet lady, who would always make sure everyone was alright, and she would be super careful with Ezra when she went into the room for check-ups.

"Billie? Is that you?", Linda wondered. The girl she had seen three days ago went from having red hair to a brunette. She looked somewhat different. There was something about her that seemed to have change, and it wasn't just her hair colour.

"Hi. Linda, right? Is everything okay with Ezra?", Billie wondered back.

"Yes. I'm sorry, it's just that...you look different!".

"Oh. Right...I'm still trying to get used to it myself. It's a big change!", she said. And it was, but she felt like it was the right time to do so. She went blonde after seeing an edit of her with blonde hair, which she liked, but also because it was something different from what she had had until then. To her it seemed like the perfect time to do so with the new album coming out. She still remembers how she literally broke the internet with the post where she revealed her blonde locks. Now she was going to surprise her fans again, she was sure – before she made her way to the hospital, she took a photo of herself, so she could publish on her Instagram later – of her new hair colour.

"Don't worry dear. It looks lovely! I'm sure your girlfriend will love it once she wakes up!", when Linda said it, Billie froze. Firstly because she wasn't used to people realising that what she and Ezra had was more than a friendship, and secondly because, how could she possibly guess that Billie did in fact love the blonde.

"It's okay if I go in?", Billie asked the smiling nurse, who only nodded as an answer.

Entering the room, and carefully closed the door, Billie made her way to the chair on the left side of the bed. Ezra looked the same as yesterday. Billie grabbed the girl's hand in her own and sat on the somewhat uncomfortable chair.

"Hey baby", she softly said, hoping that the girl really could hear her in her sleep, "I'm officially a brunette now. It looks so good, mamas. I wish you could see it.".

For the last two days, Billie would sit on the chair and just talk. She would tell Ezra about her day. She told her how she would be hosting SNL; how she was wishing she could be there for her birthday; how she was hoping she would wake up so she could finally tell her about her feelings...there was so much going on, and Billie wanted to share every little moment with Ezra.

Even though she was busy with script's readings - which she had done online before she had to fly to New York for rehearsals - and tour preparations, plus hanging out with her friends and family, Billie made sure she visited Ezra. She wanted to be there every day, if necessary, until the older girl finally wakes up, which she was praying – on whatever entity or force available – she would, soon!

When she had nothing else to say, because she had told her everything, Billie would sing. Maybe singing would be enough stimulus for Ezra to open her eyes. Yet they remained closed each time.