END OF BEGINNING- a byler fanfiction/ stranger things s5

When It's Cold I'd Like To Die

 Summary: Mike's Memory Montage

a/n: y'all, I genuinely think Caleb McLaughlin and Gaten Matarazzo are so underrated as actors because they both made me cry in season 4 (saying something bc I don't have feelings). looveee

*time skip by prolly an episode. Lots of plot things be going on and shit. Basically, the gang have just been reunited after a traumatic event or whatever.*

Word Count: 964

I was so relieved to see them. I almost broke Dustin and Lucas' ribs hugging them. But then I noticed...

"Wait, where's Will? And El?"

Nobody answered me.

"Where are they?"

"Mike..."

"What?" My heart was going at abnormal pace all of a sudden and I couldn't breathe properly. "Tell me where they are."

"They went to fight him and they didn't, they didn't come out."

"So-so we have to go back in-?" I started to move forward ignoring the hands reaching out to stop me. "We have to help them! We have to! Let go, we have to- we can't just leave them there! Will! El! Let go! Let go!"

Lucas was holding me back now, and being much stronger than me, he was succeeding, but I struggled anyway. "Let go, Lucas, let go! We have to help them!"

"Mike, Mike, we can't, we'll die too, we'll die too!" Lucas was crying, and so was everyone else but I wasn't just accepting it and I didn't see how they could either. They were our friends. They saved our lives. We had to save them too.

"Then I'll go by myself, just let me go, Lucas, let me go! Let me go!" When it finally became clear he wasn't going to let go, I allowed myself to cry. It wasn't long before I was sobbing.

I'm not sure how or when, but I was suddenly surround by Lucas, Dustin and Max, all hugging and crying. Steve, Nancy and Jonathan appeared at some point. I sobbed harder when Jonathan asked; "Where are Will and El?"

It was even worse when Hopper and Joyce came.

"Hopper, Hopper, you have to help them! You have to go help them!"

"Mike, I can't." I had never seen anyone look so heartbroken as Hopper did then, with silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What- what do you mean you can't?" My voice was shrill and heavy from crying.

"He closed the gates. There's no way back."

Then we both broke down and no one was able to form words anymore.

No. No. It couldn't be true. This was just a bad dream. A really, really bad dream but I would wake up and it would be over. No. No. No. It wasn't true. No. No. No. No. No.

"Mike."

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

"Mike, look."

I looked. It was the most terrible, beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life.

There was El, stumbling out of the dust and smoke, lugging a limp body along with her. Will. Oh my god, Will.

We all ran over to them, and there wasn't even time for crying now, for processing, because Will wasn't conscious.

His eyes wouldn't open no matter what we did. Hopper checked his pulse and said it was faint.

"What happened to him, El?" She couldn't answer.

We lay him down on the ground, Joyce, Jonathan and I leaning over him.

"Go get help, Jonathan."

"But mom-"

"Jonathan. Go."

He looked dead. He wasn't, he couldn't be, but he looked it. I didn't feel like thinking about anything now, so I took his unmoving hand in mine and started talking.

"Will, Will, please wake up. Please. You have to wake up. For all of us. Please wake up. You can't go now, not after all of this. Will, please." I swallowed convulsively. "Will, I love you. I love you more than anything. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't do this without you, so please wake up. Will, I love you."

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and then I felt nothing else. I think I was blacking out. This was too much, too fast. I was never going to be ready for this. He couldn't-he wasn't- no. No.

El had brought Max back once.

I looked up at her, and tried to speak but I couldn't. My voice wouldn't work. It had never happened before.

I closed my eyes, because that was all I could do.

I remembered everything.

That day on the swings.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I'm Michael. Mike for short."

"I'm William. Will for short." He smiles at me.

"Do you want to be my friend, Will?"

"Yeah, sure."

Playing DND in my basement until our eyes hurt and our brains were mush.

"It was a seven."

"What?"

"The role, it was a seven. The demogorgon, it got me."

Matching costumes every year and eating Halloween candy until we were almost throwing up.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Me too."

"Well, if we're both going crazy, at least we'll go crazy together, right?"

"Yeah, crazy together."

I even remembered the scary times.

"That's my friend. Mike."

I even remembered the times in the rain.

"You're ruining our party, and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?"

"El's not stupid. It's not my fault you don't like girls!"

-

 "I-I'm in love with you. That's the truth. Please say something."

"I don't know what to say." "Will."

"Mike."

I even remembered the sad times.

"Yeah, El needs you Mike, and she always will."

Mostly I remembered the happy times.

"What if you want to join another party?"

"Not possible."

The good times.

"I think it would be better if we were a team. Friends. Best friends."

"Cool."

"Cool."

The best times.

"I'm glad that you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too. With you."

Will.

Suddenly, I was trapped in the memories. It all went through my mind rapidly, reliving everything in the blink of an eye.

The last think I heard was Will's voice.

"Mike? El?"

El?

Then everything went dark.